Saturday, February 19, 2005

Tips for a Massive Academic Job Search

Tips for a Massive Academic Job Search

Ellen Spertus

New: Another person's story (Oct. 8, 2000)

I can't believe that finishing my dissertation will be nearly as challenging as applying for over a hundred academic and research positions, spending seven weeks on the road, juggling offers with different expiration dates, solving the two-body problem, and negotiating a contract, which is how I've spent the spring of 1997. This document is meant as advice for other graduate students based on my experience and stories I've heard. I've made an effort to point to and not duplicate information available elsewhere. The best exhaustive site on the PhD experience is

The primary purpose of a job search is to find the best possible job. This can be divided into two components: determining what your ideal job is and convincing others to give you that position. When I began my search, I didn't know if I wanted to be at a research lab, a research university, or a liberal arts college. I wasn't even sure what academic department I was most interested in. My job search was as much about finding out what I wanted as convincing others to hire me.

This document will be most useful to female computer scientists whose partner is in computer science and also looking for a job, although most of it should be relevant to any doctoral candidate seeking a job. Parts of it will be relevant to search committee chairs wishing to be hospitable to job-seekers. You can add or view comments about this page.

The Early Stages

Your job search begins when you get to college. Not only is that when you being to network, but it's also when you begin to learn what it's like to be a professor. Networking is covered in other documents, such as Phil Agre's Networking on the Network and the CRA transcript on networking. It's harder to find advice about how to determine what type of job you want. Because you spend so much time in graduate school, it's easy to learn what life is like for professors at research universities. I don't think you can intelligently compare job categories unless you've also worked for at least a summer in industry (probably as an undergraduate) and at a research lab (probably as a graduate student). Unless you're certain you don't want to teach, you should get teaching experience. This will both help you determine whether you like teaching and make you a stronger candidate for teaching positions.

Another way to find out about the trade-offs of different jobs is to observe the people around you. In your years at graduate school, you'll see professors climbing the tenure ladder and ones who have made it. Learn from them. I observed that junior faculty members tended to get divorced, turn prematurely gray, or lecture classes right up until they went into labor. I also watched the choices made by students who graduated before me. Whatever the choice, you can learn interesting things by asking the person how he or she came to it and staying in touch so you can see how they feel after a few years. Also see John Wilkes' Is work hell? Life in industrial research and the Young Scientists Network archive for information on alternative careers for PhDs.


If you will be applying for many jobs, organization is crucial. My major organizational components were a spreadsheet for keeping track of applications, a word processor with support for address labels, a wall map for keeping track of geography, and a filing cabinet for application materials.

Whenever I found out about a position, I created a new row in a spreadsheet. The column headings included the school's name, city, state, number of positions, deadlines, the job listing URL, the department's URL, required application materials, whether letters were supposed to be sent directly, and the status of my and Keith's applications, including when we applied, what we sent, and when we received an acknowledgment. (Additional columns will be described later.) This allowed me to easily view, for example, all employers with deadlines of January 1 to which I had not yet applied or all schools that I'd applied to but had not yet received an acknowledgment from. The spreadsheet contained all the schools that either Keith or I applied to, so we were able to share the file. We also shared it with other graduate students. In a two-body job search, efficiency can be greatly increased by having each person work on what he or she is best at or prefers. For example, I did most of the typing, and Keith did most of the photocopying.

The word processor I used supported address labels, allowing me to type an address once and use it many times: on my letter, on Keith's letter, on our mailing labels, on mailing labels for our references, etc. Even when it's more work, you should cut and paste an address instead of retyping it, to avoid introducing typographical errors. You should create a default cover letter and then personalize it carefully for every application. I sent out at least one letter expressing my interest in "the Department of <>". You should save an online copy of every letter you send out, in case you need to resend or review it.

In order to keep track of geographical constraints, I bought and posted a road map of the United States and southern Canada, putting different colored map pins wherever we were applying. When one of us received an invitation to interview, I replaced the pin with a thumbtack so it was easy to see the status of our job search visually. The map also helped in planning the order of visits. Also useful was the web service How far is it?.

I was able to fit all of my job search in one hanging folder, which held a manila folder for copies of each component of my application packet, i.e., my CV, teaching statement, research statement, transcripts, and reprints of various papers. Other things to keep on file are stationery and envelopes, which you'll run through much faster than you expect. When you make copies of some component, like your CV, I advise you to make many. Keeping the folders full makes the marginal cost of an application small: just grab something from each folder and pop it in an envelope. You will invariably waste paper when you have to update material, but I don't think this can't be helped. Plant a tree when you graduate. Don't try to economize by using both sides of a piece of paper. I sent double-sided CVs to a few places I applied, and at two places I visited, I discovered that people I met with had only half my CV, since only one side had been copied. For this reason, you should also number your pages.

Ask your advisor if you can make job-related long-distance calls from your office at department expense. If not (and for when you're traveling), get a phone card that has low daytime rates (less than 20¢/minute) and no surcharge (except possibly from pay phones). Advertisements and applications appear in airplane magazines. It's a good idea to have a backup calling card in case your primary one stops working because all of your calls from different cities cause the company to assume it's been stolen. Stupid as this sounds, it did happen to me.

Determining Where to Apply

I followed my advisor's advice and applied anywhere that I thought it was even remotely possible that I would be interested. She told me that she sometimes hadn't realized how attractive a place was until after she reluctantly accepted their invitation to interview. Another professor advised me to instead select no more than ten places that I was most interested in and to really focus on those. I combined the approaches by applying everywhere and putting in extra effort to the likeliest places.

A great resource exists for finding academic and research positions, particularly in computer science: KAplan'sPhD Position Service. Not only are announcements from many different sources consolidated here, but they are archived. In contrast, ads posted at the CRA, ACM, and IEEE sites go away after a month or two (although one can refer to the printed magazines). You can also get on mailing lists, such as the CRA job list. There are sites that charge for access to the newest job listings and provide older ones for free, such as Computists International (for artificial intelligence jobs) and Chronicle of Higher Education. I found a six-month subscription to the Chronicle to be well worth the cost ($40.50). Not only could I electronically search the latest job listings, but I could easily research a school by searching the archives and could access data about professors' salaries, etc. If you're interested in teaching-oriented schools, in addition to reading the Chronicle, you should also join SIGCSE to get access to its job mailing list, or find someone to forward you the messages. I advocate sharing information with other graduate students. While it's possible that the job you want won't be offered to you because you told someone else about it and they applied, it's also possible that the job you want will be available because someone turned it down to accept a position you told them about. Besides, it's good karma.

One reason to eliminate jobs at this stage is a two-body constraint (a partner who is also seeking a job), unless you're willing to share a position. Keith and I only applied to places that had multiple positions or were near other employers. (Actually, before we were engaged, I applied to a few places in the boondocks. When Keith observed that there were no jobs for him nearby, I said that I didn't know yet what his intentions were.) He agreed to apply for jobs that weren't at the top of his list, and I did the same, to maximize the chances of finding a two-body solution. Neither of us played any games with only applying to places high on our list to try to force the other to make any sacrifices. If you don't want what's best for both of you, you shouldn't be getting married.

Keith wanted to work at a research-intensive institution, so he eliminated schools that didn't have PhD programs or had poorly-rated research programs. The Computing Research Association has a very useful tool for ranking PhD-granting CS departments (but see this dissenting opinion). I wanted to work with bright students, whether or not they were graduate students, so I eliminated schools that were rated as being less competitive based on their undergraduate admissions criteria. You can buy a college guide (often at a used book store) to find out what tier a school is in, or you can find the information online through U.S. News and World Reports. We added some of this information to our spreadsheet. You might also want to look for schools in a certain category, such as historically-black colleges and universities (HBCUs) or science-active liberal arts colleges, and guides are available for these. The best qualitative general guide to colleges I found was The Insider's Guide to the Colleges by the Yale Daily News staff. Take what you read in these books with a grain of salt, however. I read in Lisa Birnbach's College Book that Mills students wear "severe daytime dress-up... and have the luster of a newly lacquered manicure." Not when I visited. All of the students I saw were dressed casually, and they had just constructed a giant mud ball.

Some people apply to departments that haven't advertised positions. I didn't try doing this, although I did email some department heads at interesting schools to ask if they anticipated any openings; I didn't find any this way. When I applied to multiple departments at one school, I wrote in each cover letter that I was applying to both and would consider a joint position.

The Application

Ask for the job packets of successful job-seekers in order to create first drafts. Then, have your advisor and any other friendly professors suggest changes, which you should take very seriously. I was able to get very useful advice from MIT professors on applying to research universities. Since I was also interested in liberal arts colleges for women, I put together a draft job packet well before any were due and sent it for criticism to a friend who is a senior professor at such a school. I also found much useful information in Malcolm Campbell's How to Find a Teaching Job.

Make every effort to send in an application by the requested date. While some schools accept late applications without complaint, there are other schools that return or discard applications postmarked after the deadline, as I learned the hard way. You can always update an application by sending further information later. It is your responsibility to make sure that letters of recommendation arrive, especially if the position announcement says that you should arrange for the letters to be sent. You should find out from each reference how he or she likes to receive requests: through an assistant, with printed labels, with online labels in various formats, etc. You should send requests for multiple places together, instead of dribbling them in one at a time. Many places won't consider your application until it is complete (i.e., all letters have arrived) and don't tell you if it's incomplete. It is your responsibility to contact the professor or administrator in charge of the search to find out which letters have made it into your folder. Don't assume that because a letter got sent that it arrived to the right place. Many letters go astray and have to be resent.

Most schools will send you an acknowledgment within a few weeks of receiving your application or the deadline. If you do not get an acknowledgment, email or telephone the contact person. (I did this and discovered that something had indeed got lost along the way to one school.) You will also receive an affirmative action form from most places, requesting information on your race, sex, and how you found out about the position. (For this reason, you might want to include a column on your spreadsheet indicating where you first found out about a job.) Returning the forms is not required, and they are not part of your application. They go not to the search committee but to the affirmative action office, so they can document what type of people applied for the job and that it was properly advertised. Don't assume that if you're white that you're at a disadvantage. According to the 1996 Taulbee Report, "a much larger percentage of white non-Hispanics are hired into tenure-track positions than are awarded PhDs." Similarly, I have seen little advantage for female candidates – and more personal questions, which I'll get to in the section on interviewing.

For every position you care about, you should also find a personal contact. This is not optional. If you know a professor in the department, contact him or her and say that you're applying for a position and that you're very interested in the department. If you don't know somebody, ask your references, especially your advisor, to put in a good word for you, or see if you can find someone in a professional organization you belong to, such as NOGLSTP or Systers. I cannot stress enough how important a personal contact is. There was one school I was interested in – let's call it Stateville – because I had heard good things about it from a relative who had attended and because it was located in an area I wanted to live. I was very highly-qualified for the position and expected to be invited for an interview as soon as they started the process. I wasn't. I later found out this was because they thought I was out of their league, especially because they'd heard I had been invited to a more prestigious school in the area, which we'll call Joliet. I actually would have preferred Stateville to the more prestigious schools. By the time I found out what was going on from someone I met at Joliet, had her communicate my interest, and got an invitation, it was too late in the season for me to seriously consider them. Avoid these situations by making use of social networks early.

Responding to Invitations


Typically, a professor will call you (or ask you to call) to extend an invitation. A few financially-poorer schools wanted telephone interviews first. It was at this point that Keith and I mentioned the two-body problem, if there was no other employer in the area, although some couples don't say anything until one receives an offer. A couple that went through the process before me said that mentioning their spouse at the invitation stage usually got the spouse an invitation. That wasn't the case for us. We got invited to interview at two of the same schools, but that appears to have been coincidental. A few liberal arts colleges asked if we would be interested in sharing a position; we weren't. (While sharing positions helps some people solve the two-body problem and to balance an academic career with an outside life, my impression is that it's more than half-time work for each person at only half pay.) When told about the partner, we were sometimes told about job possibilities in the area and in one case received the suggestion that the other person apply for a research scientist position. Schools still encouraged us to fly out to interview even after we pointed out that our two-body constraint seemed unsolvable with them. Keith and I both had the experience of being invited to a school that wasn't interested in the other person. It might be hard psychologically if one partner is universally seen as the stronger candidate.

Some places offered more than a month's notice and a choice of interview dates; others said, "Be here by Wednesday or forget it." People typically have their first interview be at a place that's not their top choice, since they'll get better at interviewing as the season progresses. In general, however, I'd recommend interviewing at the places you're most interested in early in the season, particularly if you have a two-body problem. Keith and I timed things poorly, and I received an attractive Bay Area offer (with a two-week deadline) a week before Keith's first Bay Area interview. Another reason to schedule less attractive schools later is that you can cancel them if you get a more attractive offer before visiting. This is not rude. I've always been thanked when I've told a host that because of an offer I've received that it no longer makes sense for me to interview with them.

Because the invitations will arrive in a random order, possibly after you've started traveling, an optimal ordering is impossible. I thought of it as an on-line (on-the-fly) traveling salesman problem or sometimes as a treasure hunt, where in each city I'd find out what the next city would be. While you can't do an optimal scheduling, there are things you can do to make your scheduling easier:

  • Get a good travel agent. Mine is Judy Louis at Anspach Travel (1-800-345-7901).
  • Schedule slack into your schedule. Leave some space between your East Coast tour and your West Coast tour so you don't have to zigzag if more invitations come in. (If none do, you get to go home or take a vacation.)
  • Arrange for your weekends especially to be with you romantic partner if possible. Book yourself a room at a bed-and-breakfast. One of you should be able to get reimbursement from whoever's interviewing you that Friday or Monday, on the grounds that it kept you from having to fly home.
  • If you can't be with your partner, stay with friends or family. I found staying in a house or apartment with people I like to be far preferable to staying in a hotel room, however fancy.
  • Once you have an invitation, let other employers in the geographic area know that you'll be there. Sometimes a place will be willing to interview you if someone else pays or shares the travel expenses. Also, letting them know you have an invitation usually makes you more desirable.

The most strenuous weeks I booked had me doing a two-day interview on Monday and Tuesday, resting on Wednesday, and interviewing at two separate places on Thursday and Friday. Scheduling anything more intense than this is not recommended. After two days on, you should have a day off if at all possible. You can spend a rest day traveling if it's a non-stop flight, but it won't be a restful day if you're having to change planes and worry about connections. I'd recommend scheduling no more than three days of interviews and one day of traveling in a week. One two-day interview is less strenuous than two one-day interviews, since (1) you'll only have to give one talk (generally), (2) the second day is sometimes shorter, (3) you'll be going back to a familiar place, and (4) you won't have to do any traveling in between. You can make life easier for yourself by insisting on at least 15 minutes to your self immediately before your talk for preparation (or just for resting your head on a desk).

If you have any special needs, now's the time to make arrangements, such as those made by Elizabeth Lane Lawley, now an assistant professor at Rochester Institute of Technology:

I brought my (then 5-month-old) baby with me on interviewing trips. I was still breastfeeding, and was unwilling to wean for the purpose of a job hunt. So I arranged for child care in advance in each city, but also told the search chairs that I'd need private time at lunch each day in order to express milk for him. I figured that if they still offered me a job, I'd know they were basically mother- and family-friendly.

(If you're an academic woman with young children, you may want to contact Liz to join her email list.) Linda Jean Camp, now an assistant professor at Harvard, has written up advice on traveling with a toddler and breastfeeding a baby while at a conference.

Air Travel

You should belong to the major frequent flier programs. To consolidate your miles, find out which airlines are partners. For example, miles from Alaska Airlines can be credited to your Northwest account. Air Canada miles can go to several different U.S.-based carriers. If you have the time and can spare the money for the fee, order a credit card from an airline that gives you miles for purchases. While these typically cost $50-$80 per year, the start-up bonus miles (typically valued at $.02/mile) more than compensate – assuming that you amass enough miles on that airline to earn a free ticket (usually 25000 miles). I use bizmiles to keep track of frequent flier programs on various airlines.

Some air travel tips:

  • When considering flights, your travel agent (or online service) should be able to tell you what a flight's on-time rate is.
  • If you're changing planes, try not to be scheduled on the last flight of the day from the connection city to your destination.
  • Special meals are often better than the regular meals, especially for people with dietary restrictions. There's a high chance your special request will get lost, so confirm with the airline at least 24 hours in advance.
  • If you're buying a full coach ticket (i.e., no advance purchase), you can often get assigned a seat in the exit row, giving you more leg room. You can request one at check-in with a regular ticket. Only do this if you'd be strong enough to open the door.
  • When you check in, make sure your frequent flier number has been entered. It is a pain to try to get credit retroactively.
  • When you get your ticket, check it over immediately. I once told a travel agent I wanted to fly from Washington [State] to Dallas and received a ticket from Washington D.C. to Dallas.
  • Bring a bottle of water on the plane with you, and drink a lot. The size of the bottle doesn't matter, since the flight attendants will refill it for you.
  • If you get invited at the last minute, occasionally business class or first class will cost no more than the cheapest available coach fare. It doesn't hurt to ask.

Preparing for Interviews

The most strenuous part of the job search is traveling the interview circuit. The more you prepare in advance, the less stressful and more productive your trip will be. As I mentioned, I was on the road for over seven weeks, making it back to my home base (Seattle) for only two (separate) days during this time. You can get advice elsewhere on how to prepare a talk, what questions to expect, and so forth. You'll get the best job talk advice from people at your own institution who attend your practice talks. Be sure to include some people who aren't already familiar with your work.

The first thing you need to prepare for interview travel is money. You'll have to pay for dressy clothing, accessories, and travel expenses, such as airfare. You'll eventually get reimbursed for most of the travel expenses, but it won't happen overnight. I fronted over $3000. If you don't have the money, borrow it. Some advisors have been willing to make bridge loans to students.

You can save money on clothing by starting to shop for it well in advance, keeping an eye out for sales. Consider also checking out consignment shops (high-quality used clothing stores). You should have at least two dressy outfits, because some interviews last two days. You will also need some non-grubby comfortable clothes, because a faculty member may pick you up at the airport and take you straight to dinner with other people from the department. Make sure that your clothing is practical and doesn't wrinkle too easily. Women: When you're tempted to buy a dress or skirt that is knee-length or shorter, ask yourself whether you'll feel comfortable in it sitting next to someone, climbing up stairs, getting out of a car, etc. Also, make sure your shoes are comfortable, because you will have to walk around campuses. I find Easy Spirit to be a good brand of women's shoes. Wear your whole interview outfit for the day of a practice talk. If your blouse is see-through, you'll want to find that out before the real interview. Remember that new invitations might come in while you're on the road. I had only packed one outfit suitable to wear in warm locales but got invited at the last minute for a two-day interview in Los Angeles and had to improvise.

You will also need luggage, preferably a garment bag if you're bringing a suit. If you can't borrow one, use an opaque zip-up vinyl bag, which you can buy where you bought your suit. I bought some luggage with wheels and found that very helpful, although you shouldn't fool yourself into thinking you'll never need to carry it. Don't buy luggage at a posh store. You can get it much cheaper at a discount store, such as Target, or through AAA. I got a three-piece set of Samsonite luggage for $129 and brought the tote bag and the wheeled carry-on with me. While I sometimes checked the "carry-on", particularly when it was overstuffed and couldn't fit in the overhead bin, I was glad not to have a full-sized suitcase to lug. You often have to walk quite a ways from the gate or baggage area to the rental car. If you'll be making a number of trips, make life easier for yourself by keeping a toiletry bag stocked. If you're not sure whether to pack something, ask yourself how much it weighs and how inconvenient it would be not to have it. For example, bring a nail clipper, earplugs, and extra pantyhose. Don't necessarily bring enough reading material to last you the whole circuit, because it's easy and inexpensive to buy books and magazines as you travel. For more information on traveling light, see the Travelite FAQ. I don't recommend traveling with a bare minimum, however: Bring things that will make you feel comfortable in unfamiliar surroundings, such as a copy of your favorite tape (to play in rental cars) or a stuffed animal. Consider packing an empty duffle bag, in case you accumulate more stuff as you travel, as I did.

Be sure to think about your health needs when you pack. I was glad that I brought Pepto-Bismol, which was good for the nervous stomach I had before my first talk, and Source Naturals Wellness Formula, an echinacea-based tablet that I took when I felt particulary run-down to boost my immune system. If there are any infections that you are particularly prone to, you might want to bring treatment. In any case, bring information on how to contact your doctor. If you catch a cold, medicine won't help (except for the symptoms), but if your mucous turns green, you can call your doctor for antibiotics, which will probably help.

You'll need accessories to go along with your spiffy dress clothes. All the briefcases I saw were very expensive (hundreds of dollars), but I found a nice-looking fake leather portfolio for about $15. I don't know if you can get away with a canvas bag from a conference. I'd advise women not to lug purses. The dress I bought was sufficiently low-cut that a scarf was a necessity, as were safety pins, which I neglected to pack. Douglas Adams claims a traveler should never be without a towel. I found a scarf even more indispensible. I draped it over my arms to prevent sunburn when taking a long walk on a Southern California campus, I knotted it over my chest when I discovered that the front of a dress was flimsy, and I used it as a belt to increase the formality of a waistless dress.

If you live alone, you'll have to make arrangements for mail that arrives when you're gone. In the month before your trip, pay twice the amount on your utility bills if you can afford to. For example, if your phone bill is $30, send in a check for $60. That way you can safely not pay the next bill. (I'm presuming that your utility bills will tend to be lower when you're away.) Telephone any mail-order clubs you're in and tell them to suspend your membership until April 15. Arrange for a neighbor to pick up your mail and forward anything important, or have it held at the post office. I notified the post office that certain friends could pick up my mail. One did after a few weeks and forwarded things that looked important. I also had a friend watching my mailbox at school for job-related material. Since you may not be able to get to your email very often, you might want to have a friend check it for you. Keith checked my email while I was traveling and faxed important things to where I was staying through Faxaway, an email-to-fax gateway, that I had signed up for and would recommend. I told my office-mates to refer any callers to my home phone number, and I regularly checked for messages. It is crucial that you remain reachable during your job search.

The most useful information about each place can usually be found on the Web. Print the home page and the pages of all the people you expect to meet, and read them on the airplane. If you're in touch with other job-seekers, you may be able to pick up gossip about places they've been (or share gossip about where you've been). If you have the chance, learn to pronounce any unusual names of people in the department you think you're likely to meet. You can do this by asking around (either someone who knows the person or knows the language the name comes from) or by calling the person's office in the middle of the night and listening to their voice mail message.

Other important information that you'll want to keep on hand:

  • All of your airline frequent flier numbers. (I list mine in my address book.)
  • A copy of your slides in the source language (e.g., PowerPoint) and in a printable format (e.g., Postscript). You should store these on a disk that you bring with you and also place them in a directory you can download them from.
  • The IP addresses of machines where you can read your email. It's possible that you'll try logging in from somewhere that doesn't have the necessary domain name information.
  • Your passport if you might cross the U.S.-Canada border.
  • Your driver's license, for rental cars. Make sure it hasn't expired.

The most important preparation is probably emotional. In addition to figuring out what job you really want and not just what you think will impress or please others, you also have to deal with the fear of rejection. Many of us getting our PhDs have never been significantly rejected academically or professionally. You will get rejected on your job search. Most places you apply won't invite you for an interview, and most of these places won't make you an offer. Remember, if you never hear "no," you're not aiming high enough. Don't be afraid to risk rejection, and, when it comes, don't take it personally. Something that helped me keep perspective was a 1996 rejection letter from a third-rate university to Prof. Richard Karp, which was posted in the mailroom at University of Washington. Karp has won a National Medal of Science (1996) and the ACM Turing Award (1995), the highest award in computer science. If even he gets rejected, I think I can handle some rejection too.

Interview Trips

Before the Interview

When you arrive into town, usually through an airport, you will either be picked up by a faculty member, get a rental car, or ride a taxi or shuttle to your hotel. Often, you'll have dinner with your host the night before your interview. A few places even have receptions for a candidate at a professor's house. Attendence at these is greatest early in the season. These events can be a little awkard, especially if graduate students are present, in which case there will be two circles, one of faculty and one of students, forcing you to socially choose between the two. I'd advise spending at least half the time talking with faculty and at least ten minutes with students. While talking to the students is easier than talking with faculty, remember to behave professionally. This is a good time to ask students what they like best about the department. You can ask them more delicate questions the next day when the faculty isn't in earshot. Similarly, don't ask faculty members any delicate questions at a reception.

Most schools will put you up at a big hotel, although a few use inns or bed & breakfasts. If you are traveling with your partner and are not married, you will probably be asked if you want one room or two. Resist the temptation to make a smart remark and just answer the question ("one room will be fine" or "we'd prefer two rooms"). One time, Keith and I were given the choice of a hotel or a bed & breakfast. We chose the b&b and found it very pleasant. When we came home from a tiring day of interviewing, our hostess prepared tea for us. Breakfast was less of a production than at a hotel but at least as good, and we took the opportunity to talk with our hostess and learn more about the region. The disadvantages of b&b's are that you might not have a phone in your room, you may have a shared bathroom, and there won't be high-tech amenities like fax machines and voice mail. Whether you're at a hotel or b&b, you can expect to be able to request an iron and ironing board.

When you check into a hotel or rent a car, ask if they grant frequent flier mileage. You may also want to ask at check-in what's included. Usually, local calls are free or paid for by your hosts. You may have to pay for long-distance calls yourself. Room service is usually covered but not always, and there may be a daily limit on what you can spend on food a day (which is only likely to be a practical issue if your partner is accompanying you). I don't know whether laundry or dry-cleaning are ever covered; I didn't use them. It's simpler to buy fresh pantyhose and to wash underwear in the sink with bar soap, letting it air dry overnight.

It's good to have lots of one-dollar bills with you at a hotel, since there are so many times tips are expected. When possible, such as with meals at their restaurant or room service, include the tip on the bill, so the school will pick it up. I never tried getting reimbursed for tips not associated with a meal or taxi bill. You should leave a tip of $1-2 per day for housecleaning, either daily (preferred) or at the end of your trip. Make sure you place the money in such a way that they know you mean to give it, such as on an unmade bed or with the free toiletries. While you can easily get away with not tipping housecleaning, remember that you're in a privileged position interviewing for these prestigious jobs and that these people have to work very hard at less interesting work for less money. Similarly, you should tip cab drivers at least 10-15%, more on inexpensive trips. If your partner is with you and you're talking about how rich the two of you will be, you have to tip more. Be sure to always request a receipt and to record the total with tip. You should also jot on it the date and some note that will help you remember what trip it was for when you write up your expenses. If the cab driver says he or she is out of receipts, make your own receipt on a piece of notebook paper and get their signature.

The Interview

You will typically be met at your hotel in the morning by a faculty member, around 8:30 if you're just getting a ride, earlier if you're having breakfast together. Your day will be filled with meetings of 30-45 minutes with professors and usually one or two meetings with a dean, provost, or president. You may or may not meet with students, possibly en masse. Of course, you'll give a talk on your research or, at an undergraduate institution, teach a class. You will have lunch and dinner with people from the department. The rest of this section discusses some general principles, such as attitude, and specific activities in more detail.


In the preparation phase, it is good to be a perfectionist. Not in the interview phase. If something goes wrong, accept it. If you're late to the university, whether through your own fault or circumstances beyond your control, stay calm. You'll get there eventually, and getting stressed out won't help. If you appear in casual clothes because your luggage has gotten lost, apologize to each person you meet with and to your audience, letting them know in one sentence what happened, then proceed confidently. What's less important than actually wearing the formal clothes is communicating that you sincerely tried to. While you can be a maverick in your research, don't flout convention unnecessarily in other areas.

You should always appear confident, making sure that you know the difference between confidence and arrogance. Even at schools famous for their arrogance, they do not like arrogant visitors. Here are some sample exchanges:

Question: "Why did you do X in such-and-such a manner?"
Bad answer: "Uh."
Confident answer: "For reasons A, B, and C... Although if I'd realized when I'd started that Y, I would have considered Z instead. I'd definitely have used Z if I had more memory."
Arrogant answer: "Any other approach would be really stupid."

Comment: "Your thesis seems like it's just a hack."
Bad answer: "Uh."
Confident answer: "I don't think it's a hack. The way I see it is blah blah blah. It is true, however, that it's less theoretical than some of the work that's been done, such as So-and-So's. Let me describe some research I'm planning to do on top of this (or that I did for my Master's thesis)."
Arrogant answer: "No, this isn't just a hack. It's the most important thesis in architecture in recent years."

Question: "Are you aware of So-and-So's related work on blah blah blah?"
Bad answer: "Oh no! Uh-oh."
Confident answer: "No I'm not. That sounds really interesting. I'll look into it. Could you give me a reference? Thanks for pointing me to it."
Arrogant answer: "I don't know the work, so it must not be relevant."

Meetings with Faculty Members

I felt that senior faculty members (those with tenure) used meetings to judge me or to sell the department, while junior faculty, who had recently been on the job market themselves, tried to put me at ease and invited me to ask them questions about the department. A question I asked all junior faculty was what hours they worked. I ruled out one research university when a professor answered, "This week I've been getting up at 6:30 [AM] and going home at 2 AM, but this is an unusually tough week. Normally, I go home at 1 AM." Some other questions I liked to ask were:

  • In the past few years, how many people have been denied tenure?
  • Which colleges are most like yours? (This was helpful when visiting a school I didn't have a feel for. Note that they'll usually describe themselves as being comparable to a school that outsiders consider better.)
  • What are the worst aspects of the school?
  • What's expected of a junior faculty member?
  • Where else did you consider working? Why did you choose this school?
  • How is the department governed?
  • How much time to people spend on teaching?

One professor at a school I visited told a story from his job search about an exchange he had with a very senior professor:

Candidate: "I've heard that junior faculty members here have no power, and the department is run in an autocratic manner."
Senior professor (angrily): "Who told you that?"

The candidate refused to answer the question, despite the professor's insistence. Later in the discussion, the professor untensed, smiled, and said, "I've figured out who must have told you that." The candidate wisely concluded that this was a department to avoid.

One interesting thing I noticed was that whenever I asked a male faculty member what percentage of the students in the department were female, his off-the-top-of-his-head estimate was always much higher than the actual number than I found out later from the person who had the statistics. I'd be curious if other people have had the same experience. I'm afraid I was a little undiplomatic on this subject. When a professor told me that they'd been trying to get more female students in the department, I had the temerity to ask what they were trying, putting him in the awkward position of admitting that they hadn't actually done anything.

Don't ask questions that you don't want the answer to. When I met with a female professor in another department of a school I visited and discussed the environment for women in the CS department, all of whose professors were male, she told me that one of the professors (not the department head) sometimes behaved offensively. I asked who, and she said she was willing to answer but that I should first be sure that I really wanted to know. Especially since it was a small department and I'd have to interact with everyone, I realized that no, I didn't want to know. I soon found out anyway from a student who told about some crude behavior in the classroom. At the end of the day, the department head asked me if I had any advice on how to make the department more hospitable to women. I don't know if it was politic, but I relayed the story to him, without using any names. He was surprised by the story and tried to get me to tell him who the professor was, which I wouldn't. He indicated that it was the sort of behavior that he didn't consider acceptable and would do something about if it was brought to his attention, which was good for me to find out.

Some people will offer you something to drink or a bathroom break. If they don't and you want something, speak up. The same goes for nonstandard requests, such as if you need a safety pin or to make a phone call.

Especially after you've been on the road for a while, it can be hard to be enthusiastic for a meeting, particularly if you know there's no way that you're going to work at this place. While the primary purpose of interviewing is matching graduates with jobs, an important secondary function is cross-pollenization. In your meetings, you can meet interesting people, find out about others' work, tell them about work they might be interested in, pick up gossip about other places you'll be visiting, and more. No meeting will be a waste of time if you make the most of it.

Now might be a good place for a digression on gossip. There's nothing wrong with gossiping; "gossip" (the noun) just means "information". You don't need to say anything unkind; in fact, you should say kind things whenever possible. My host at one university only had positive things to say about everyone, which made a good impression on me. My advice would be:

  1. Listen a lot more than you talk.
  2. When you have something good to say about someone, say it.
  3. If you have something bad to say, only do so if there's a good reason and, even then, tone it down, and don't let on if you're enjoying telling it.

An example of a compelling reason to say something negative would be if someone considering going to a school you're knowledgeable about asks your advice. Here are some examples of syntactic sugar:

You mean: "Almost everyone in Prof. V's group quit in disgust last year."
You say:
"I know that there are some students who had problems with Prof. V, but I don't know all the details."

You mean: "Prof. W is racist and sexist."
You say:
"Some people feel that Prof. W is most comfortable with white men."

You mean: "People expect Prof. X to be denied tenure in a few years."
You say:
"I'd be concerned about working with Prof. X, because he doesn't have tenure, and it's always something of a craps shoot at Drofnats University."

You mean: "Prof. Y appropriated one of his student's thesis work for his start-up."
You say:
"Prof. Y has a start-up, and there's been some concern about the independence of it and his research group."

You mean: "I can't think of anything good to say about Prof. Z, and none of the charges have been proven."
You say:
"I really don't know much about Prof. Z; I'm sorry."

Some of the most useful gossip I got was when people had worked somewhere I was considering. For example, I found out that one department I was visiting had denied tenure to the overwhelming majority of their faculty since its founding.

The juiciest gossip I received about people's home institutions was from students, who haven't yet learned to be discreet. One professor told me that there were two professors in the department who didn't get along but didn't say who they were; an undergraduate volunteered that information cheerfully, along with further details. I tended to get the most honest evaluations from students I struck up conversations with myself, although sometimes the department's hand-picked ones gave very useful information. One student I started talking with in a lab (a great place to hang out) at "Bayside" told me that his (former) advisor had been fired and was suing the university. A quick web search revealed that the school was under censure from the American Association of University Professors, a troubling sign.

Another very good way to learn about a school is reading current and past issues of its student newspaper. My host at Bayside deterred me from picking up the current issue when I was walking with him. I picked one up later and discovered that the front-page story was about a letter protesting the treatment of professors signed by all of the faculty members. Papers are sometimes accessible online, or you can also visit the newspaper office to read back issues or telephone to mail-order them.

To get the most out of your trip, keep a journal, preferably online, into which you transcribe and expand upon your notes from each day. As Mark Twain wrote, "A journal properly kept is worth a thousand dollars when you've got it done." Unfortunately, as Twain discusses in chapter 4 of the appropriately-titled Innocents Abroad, many journals get started with the best of intentions, and few get finished. I must confess that I am one of those delinquents. I went from writing a page about each place, which I shared with friends who asked to be kept posted on my progress, to writing nothing. Here are a few entries, containing both personal and technical information:

My first interview was at Mills College on Tuesday, Feb. 18.... I met with the two tenure-track CS faculty members, Susan Wang and Matthew Merzbacher. Susan got her SB from MIT around 1985. She's about to come up for tenure, and no problems are expected. At lunch, she asked me how I would supervise compiler/architecture research, and I said I'd get back to her. I had heard about Matt from Franklyn Turbak and Sean Sandys. Franklyn knew Matt from Wellesley and Sean from Williams, both places where Matt has taught. He's very nice and was a warm host, showing me around the campus and taking me to his duplex in Faculty Village, where he lives with his wife, who is pregnant....

[Note the degradation in notes quality at this later interview:] ....The other group I was being considered for was user interfaces. Dr. T was out of town, so I met with Dr. C and Dr. H. Both of those meetings went well, although my meeting with Dr. J, their boss, did not. It was my last meeting of the day, I was sleep-deprived, and I felt as though she wasn't treating my ideas with respect. Dr. K demoed his X system to me, and I showed him the Y system and suggested he see about getting their code. My meeting with Dr. P (AI) went poorly. Dr. F started by criticizing my research a lot, but things went better after I acknowledged its limitations and started taking notes on his leads: deductive databases, XSB at SUNY Stony Brook, U Wisc Madison, Ramakrishnan COREL?, Jeff Ulman's group at Stanford, Alon Levy. I had a pleasant meeting with Dr. F and Dr. S. They suggested I look at Datalog, which I could read about in Ulman's database book or in Vianu _Database Systems_ Abiteboul? They reminded me of the Z work by Prof. A, although they appeared not to have that high an opinion of it. The person I met with next (not clear from my notes) knows Lynn [my advisor] and suggested that users care a lot about response time; I agreed, also thinking that I should add user time to my measures. This person told me that Datalog differed from Prolog in having no functors, being bottom-up, and being decidable. Dr. M suggested that I look into the Verity more-like-this feature and showed me their experimental web site.

I wish I had a set of notes that included all the places I visited. Try to do a better job than I did. For inspiration, read chapter 4 of Twain's appropriately-titled Innocents Abroad. At the very least, save the schedules of everywhere you visited so you know who you met with. Mark any changes on the written schedule throughout the day.

Meeting with Administrators

Meetings with administrators ranged from low-pressure chats to a high-pressure simultaneous grilling by a president and provost on where I was likely to get research funds. In general, you should let the administrator take the lead. Sometimes, the professor walking you to the meeting will have told you what the administrator wants to hear, such as when I was told, "He'll want to hear how much money you'll be able to raise."

While you should get guidance from your hosts, be sure to distinguish between their interests and yours. One search chair told me that the provost didn't appreciate how much a computer science professor needed to be paid and that I should tell her I'd require a lot of money. I didn't say anything on the subject. That was the search committee's job, not mine, or for after I'd gotten the offer. At another institute, after the first day of interviews, I told my host that it was a bad match and that I definitely did not want the job. He told me to meet with the president the next day anyway, not telling her of my negative decision, so as not to "hurt her feelings". I'm sure the real reason was that he didn't want the president to find out that the search committee had flown in someone so ill-suited to the positition. In any case, I agreed not to tell her of my conclusion. (As it happened, a freak blizzard intervened, and the school closed down the second day.)

I liked to ask administrators whether any women who became a mother while on the tenure-track had gotten tenure. When no data was available on that, I would sometimes ask about the retention of female faculty. Of course, nobody told me that I couldn't get tenure if I had a baby. One president said, "I don't see why that would be a problem. That's just three months out of six years." (Presumably, he would have told a prospective father that it's just fifteen minutes.) While it's good to ask administrators questions, you should take their answers with a grain of salt. For example, it's fun to ask administrators how important teaching is ("very important") and to report the answer back to professors, giving them a good laugh.

My most interesting discussion with a provost was at a school that I'll refer to at Oswego. Because I had decided from that day's prior meetings that I didn't want to work there, I talked turkey with him, and he reciprocated. Specifically, I told him why the position was less attractive than other ones I'd seen, that there were a lot of positions open that year, and what he could do to make the offer more attractive. He listened appreciatively to what I said, concurring and volunteering further information. I asked him how Oswego compared to nearby Bayside (where I had been told that the two schools were equal). He gave a very interesting and honest answer: "Let me put it this way: Their professors graduated from here, while our professors graduated from better schools."

Giving Your Talk

There are plenty of other places where you can get advice on job talks. I'll just repeat a few tips:

  • Find a friendly-looking person in the audience to look at frequently. It's better for your morale to look at smiling than scowling faces.
  • Take a drink of water when someone asks a question. Not only is it a free moment, but it keeps you from looking as through you might be about to interrupt.
  • Deflect less relevant questions with "Let's discuss that off-line."
  • The talk is important not just for showing your research but also for showing your teaching ability.

If you interview at both research universities and primarily-undergraduate institutions, you may have to develop multiple talks, or at least adjust them for different audiences. When I was invited to interview at Mills, I was asked to guest lecture a class. Since I wanted to visit Mills before my iminent East Coast tour and didn't have time to prepare a new lecture, I asked if I could give a talk I had ready that was appropriate to undergraduates and said that, if I passed that first round, I'd come back and lecture a course later, without their having to pay any additional expenses (mostly picked up by other Bay Area employers). They agreed.

When I came back, I taught a computer architecture class attended by six students (Mills has small classes) and most of the department's faculty members (about the same number). I knew from the start that my blackboard technique was atrocious. (I had no classroom experience.) A student challenged a statement I made and I wasn't able to come up with an answer for what seemed like tens of seconds. I felt the class was going so badly that I was seriously tempted to stop and give up in the middle. I persevered and, to my surprise, was told after the class that I'd done well and later received a job offer. I think what saved me was having done the following things right:

  1. I had been told ahead of time that the class would be small, so I had prepared a worksheet and called on the students round-robin fashion to answer questions. It turns out the other contenders just lectured to the six students for ninety minutes.
  2. When I didn't immediately know the answer to that question, I admitted it instead of trying to bluff.
  3. I had already told the faculty that I knew my classroom skills were weak, due to inexperience, and that I looked forward to improving them. In response, I had been asked if I'd be willing to team-teach a course with a more experienced professor, and I answered (honestly) that I thought that would be great.


Meal times give you a good opportunity to see how people in the department interact with each other. I was turned off when faculty members casually insulted each other over lunch at one school. At another school, a male professor member kept touching the female faculty members more than I'd want to be touched by any colleague but Keith.

I would often be asked by the host what type of food I liked (in order to help choose a restaurant). I either named a local speciality, asked for some options, or left the decision entirely to my host. While I think a vegetarian could be accomodated at the last minute, someone who observes a vegan or kosher diet might want to give advance warning.

At lunch, I avoided heavy foods, to keep from getting sleepy, often choosing sandwiches. If others had dessert or coffee, I requested fruit or herbal tea so as to have something. At dinner, I went all out, as did the other attendees, who see these meals as a junket. The host usually asked me before ordering if I would like wine. I always said "no", since I don't drink, and added, "but don't let me stop you". This is also how I would recommend turning down dessert (not an issue for me).

The bad part about these dinners it that I was always exhausted before they were over. As socializing continued after dessert and coffee, I sometimes resorted to hints, such as visibly yawning or asking what time my first meeting the next day was, although these had little effect.


Occasionally, you'll meet up with someone who doesn't know how to behave professionally toward women. One candidate was at a dinner where an older professor cheerfully praised her looks and said that, consequently, he was for hiring her. While some people would advocate telling the professor off, I'd recommend ignoring the remark or saying something like: "If you think I look good now, wait until you see my thesis results." I know it's lame, but at least it calls attention back to what is important. For guidance in this sort of situation and elsewhere, I highly recommend Ms. Mentor's Impeccable Advice for Women in Academia, by Emily Toth.

I'll take this opportunity for a digression on etiquette. The main rule of interaction is deceptively simple: A lower-status person defers to a higher-status person. What's tricky is how status is determined and what sort of deference is expected. Here are the basic rules for determining status:

  • A guest has higher status than a host.
  • A woman has (nominally) higher status than a man in social situations, as does an older person over a younger person.
  • A higher-ranked person has higher status than a lower-ranked person.
Some ways that someone defers are:
  • Letting the other person choose whether to shake hands.
  • Allowing the higher-status person to pass through a door first.
  • Carrying the higher-status person's bags.
Note that gender is not supposed to matter in professional situations. At a crowded talk, it would be polite (but not required) for a female graduate student to offer her chair to a male professor, as would be true if the sexes were reversed. Years ago, I ran into Jaron Lanier on an elevator on my way to hear him speak at the Media Lab. Even though he's a big guy, and I was a petite young woman, he accepted my offer to "help" him with his bags (showing the same graciousness as the police officer Robert Fulghum wrote about, who, when arresting topless protesters, included a flat-chested woman).

I think etiquette is most interesting when different people's protocols conflict. For example, after finishing an elevator ride with a senior professor at my home institution, I automatically waited for him to disembark first. Since he was raised with the rule that a gentleman defers to a lady, even if he is a Turing Award winner and she a mere graduate student, he likewise paused for me to get off first. Did I insist on waiting him out or tell him off for being sexist (considering my being female more significant than my being a grad student)? Of course not. I got off the elevator and gave him a smile and nod of thanks. Moral: Don't take offense when someone has the best of intentions. In other words, respect diversity. This goes for inappropriate but well-intentioned compliments too.

Anyway, as a guest, you will be treated as having higher status than people in the host department, whether you're male or female. Professors will offer to carry your bags, and you should feel free to accept. Don't be confused if few people offer to shake hands. If they're following standard etiquette, they're waiting for you to initiate the handshake. The only time on the interview circuit that I didn't offer my hand was when I was introduced to a man who was wearing a yarmulke (head-covering worn by Orthodox Jewish men). Because many such men don't like to touch strange women, I didn't want to put him in the situation of refusing a handshake or doing something he was uncomfortable with. I discussed this with him later, and he said that while he does shake hands with women, he doesn't like to be behind closed doors with a woman (besides his wife and relatives), which has caused offense to a secretary in the department. Just as we'd insist that a man respect a woman's sexual modesties, we should respect men's.

There are people who will tell you that it's illegal to be asked personal questions, so it won't happen to you. Hogwash. As I suspect any female job-seeker (and some males) can tell you, they are asked. It's also not true that asking such questions is illegal, in the sense that a court would impose a punishment. What is illegal is discriminating on the basis of whether someone is a parent, for example, whether the fact is determined directly or indirectly. If a potential employer asks a candidate whether she has children, she answers yes, and she does not get a job offer, she would have to prove that it was her parental status that caused them not to make an offer in order to have any legal rights. Employers (nominally) avoid asking such questions, because their being ignorant makes it trivial to argue that they didn't discriminate.

I was asked some inappropriate personal questions, sometimes by top administrators who should have known better, such as whether I had children. Instead of refusing to answer or making a smart remark ("not that I know of"), I just answered honestly. (Asking whether I had children was always a prelude to telling me what a good place the area is for families.) I was surprised when a department head asked if my fiance would choose a job first and then I would choose a job near his. My answer: a simple "no". You may want to think ahead of time about how you would answer likely personal questions.

After Your Visits

Submitting receipts

With each set of receipts, send a cover letter listing and totaling the charges. Some employers insist on your social security number, so you may want to include that just in case. Save copies of the receipts and cover letter. One prospective employer did need to be prodded to pay up. If you haven't heard anything a month after submitting receipts, send a friendly note asking if they need any further information in order to reimburse you.


My first offer was from Mills, which gave me a two-week response time. Because it is in the San Francisco Bay Area, where many of Keith's top choices were, we were optimistic that we could find a two-body solution, although he had not yet interviewed in the Bay Area. I explained the situation to Mills and expressed my strong interest in the position, beginning to negotiate a contract. They had offered to let me start in January and to give me a reduced teaching load my first semester. The ordinary load is 5 courses per year (two semesters), so I would have "only" had to teach 2 courses my first semester. A friend at another school pointed out to me that the benefit was less than the usual one-year reduction, so I requested and was granted a reduced load for my first three semesters (2 courses per semester). Because I was starting mid-year, the original contract given to me by Mills was ambiguous about when I would come up for tenure. I asked for and received a statement that it would be my choice whether to be reviewed for tenure after five-and-a-half or six-and-a-half years. I asked for more money in salary (even though the offer was higher than I expected) but did not receive it. I discussed equipment needs, both technical and ergnomic, and was assured they would be filled, although no dollar amount was specified in my contract. Because of the commercial possibilities for my research (information retrieval from the Internet), I asked for and, to my surprise, received a written statement that I would retain all rights to intellectual property I create, including copyright and patents, even if I created the work on Mills equipment.

Keith and I continued interviewing as scheduled, letting potential employers know about the Mills deadline and that we needed an offer as soon as possible. One Bay Area research lab made me an offer within a day or two of my interview. I also contacted an attractive college and research lab I had interviewed at earlier to ask for an expedited decision. Both told me they would not be making me offers, which was disappointing but not devastating. One of the places had offered their faculty position to someone I too considered more qualified, and the research lab did not hire anyone that year.

By the end of my two-week grace time from Mills, Keith had an oral but not written offer from one of his top-choice employers, NASA Ames, in Mountain View. Since Keith and I were both in the Bay Area (him for interviews, me for a conference), we visited Mills, in order to strongly convey my interest even though I wasn't ready to sign. This also gave me a chance to see my proposed co-workers again and for Keith to meet them. I was granted another week, during which time Keith received a written offer from another attractive Bay Area company, and I orally accepted the Mills offer and withdrew my other applications. The paperwork for both NASA and Mills took a few weeks to complete.

To recap the statistics, my 100+ applications netted me about 25 invitations to interview, of which I accepted about half. As discussed above, I received two offers and two rejections before withdrawing my applications. Keith received three offers, all from research labs, before withdrawing his applications. We're glad the job search is over and feel very fortunate to have found a two-body solution.


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Recommended books for job-seeking PhDs

  • Christina Boufis and Victoria C. Olsen, eds. On the Market: Surviving the Academic Job Search. Riverhead Books, 1997.
  • Emily Toth. Ms. Mentor's Impeccable Advice for Women in Academia. University of Pennsylvania Press, 1997.

Paperback novels about academic life to read on airplanes

  • Jane Smiley, Moo. Ballantine Books, 1996.
  • Richard Russo, Straight Man. Vintage Books, 1998.
  • Carl Djerassi, Cantor's Dilemma. Penguin, 1991.
  • John Cramer, Twistor. Avon, 1997.

Three must-reads on weddings and marriage

The Academic Job Search Handbook
Mary Morris Heiberger and Julia Miller Vick

Third Edition
240 pages | 6 x 9
Paper 2001 | ISBN 0-8122-1778-0 | $16.50t | £11.00








水儿童 – 错了,不仅是儿童,还有妇女和寻短见的。(邪了,老萨活了这么大,一回也


卢克纳尔的确有自己的主意,他向威廉二世再次解释 – “我们海军的头儿们认为我是在


一位被他俘虏的意大利船长写过自己被俘的经过,也能够反映卢克纳尔的狡诈 – “那艘
时,整个桌子忽然落下 – 原来这桌子下面是一个电动的升降台!等我明白过来,周围已


挥官当然就是卢克纳尔本人。 -- 他赌对了,卢克纳尔没有疯,倒是几乎让大英帝国的海

一 二十世纪的风帆战舰
得到皇帝的支持,卢克纳尔终于有机会实现自己的梦想了 – 用一条古老的风帆战舰充当





立刻收下了这条船,而且给它起了个响亮的名字 – “海鹰号”。



卢克纳尔的要求处处和普通的船只不同,他设计了一个精美的船长室 – 包括那个古怪的
水的舱室,船员住舱之外还准备了多达400张床铺的特殊住舱 – 您说伯爵你要开旅馆阿


这条改装的袭击舰还装上了两台蒸汽发动机 – 打起来总不能真的靠帆追敌人的汽船吧。

地地道道老式木材运输船,说不定人家还要想 – 都是因为战争啊,连这种老掉牙的家伙









穿越英国人的水雷长城不费吹灰之力 – 这也多亏了它的水兵技术精湛,操纵灵活。那时










皇家加蒂斯号以后,打出了一个信号 – “请告知正确的时间”。

也就是他这个岁数,还能够记得年轻的时候驾驶帆船是怎样的不容易 – 因为长期出海,




落下,亮出了闪光的炮口。卢克纳尔下令 – 向来船前方炮击警告停船!轰!海鹰号第一



– 我开炮你怎么不停船阿?多危险呐。




警告炮,喊话 -- 我是德意志皇家海军,来船停航!



一队德国兵气势汹汹,如临大敌的就冲了上去,心想这船长真够横 – 逆会冒烟就以为饿

人不解了 – 你害怕还不赶紧停船,跑什么阿?船长光哆嗦不说话。。。伦蒂岛号动作莽
他和伦蒂岛号的船员转到海鹰号上来 – 他心里明白这种强人所难的声明一文不值,所以

从这些“挪威人”那里知道现在仗打到了什么地步。。。 法国人如愿以偿了,他们得到


,这位船长惊异的发现一条同样古老的三桅帆船张上了满帆紧追过来 – 哈,和我赛船阿
,看看跑不过人家,法国船长佩服阿 – 都说我们法国人轴,这有比我还轴的!这船长下

苦笑 – 哪儿啊,那是我的轮机出故障了。。。





他走到船尾,甚至发现自己少年值更时为了打发时光刻在舱板上的化名 – 菲力克斯.洛



-- NO。那么,会不会是有德国军舰避开了你们的封锁,溜进大西洋?

荣誉,不高兴了,发回一封相当长的回信,内容堪称经典 – “。。。我的封锁线是北海



第一, 这条航线附近英法军舰经常活动,但是从来没有和这条袭击舰相遇过。英国海军

第二, 德国海军袭击舰有个致命的问题,那就是它没有固定的燃料补给,这大大限制了


但是这次的情况肯定不是这么回事,因为搬运煤炭这种笨重东西需要相当的时间,-- 您












至于船员们哪儿去了?那就该想到卢克纳尔爵士的先见之明 -- 在海鹰号上有四百个多余

伯爵的船上,很快就多了几百名乘客 – 还有大约一百只猫。






玩耍,也讲到自己在宴会上怎样给威廉二世变魔术 – 在神出鬼没的把一个苹果变得失踪
以后,伯爵走向皇帝说道:陛下,请您摸一下口袋。。。 还有在智利因为偷了一头猪被







再玩“现在几点了”的游戏,未免有些老套,这次伯爵演出的是一出灾难片 – 船上火警



这是海鹰号漫长的征战过程中,唯一一次造成的人命损失 – 给敌人的,和给自己的。




这时候的协约国海员大概缺少亡命之徒 – 亡命之徒都到各国海军服役去了,所以看这个
架势多半乖乖举手投降,跟今天遇上劫机的一样 – 活捉匪徒是次要的,安全降落才是第







把牛脾气逗上来了,弄得航线上满是英国军舰,还不时向海鹰号发信号 – 你们碰上过德



于是,卢克纳尔就和俘虏的几个船长商量 – 要不,放你们回家?腾出铺位来放新的俘虏

那几个船长脑袋摇得和拨浪鼓一样 – 尊敬的伯爵,这可不行,按照法律,如果释放我们



倒霉的法国船长壮着胆子问伯爵 – 您准备击沉我的船么?




思维,以至于只发明了断头机 -- 热衷革命的法国人是不怕砍头的。其实法国人浪漫得很

晚餐会上,卢克纳尔把这位十五个吊桶打水的法国船长介绍给Captain Club的其他成员们






第一, 他要求Captain Club选出一位船长指挥康布伦号,这是因为他要释放的船长有十

第二, 他下令搬运足够数量的食物和饮水上康布伦号 – 船长们对此有些疑惑,因为康


内卢恐怕要十几天。 -- 原来船是这个阉法阿!





英军搜索海鹰号的阵容包括 – 装甲巡洋舰兰开斯特号,奥贝塔号,辅助巡洋舰奥兰多号
























但是,这里也绝少英法商船的踪影,-- 英法船只这时都在大西洋上奔忙,往欧洲跑运输













老练的操纵海鹰号,轻灵的避开水下的礁石,一面愉快的对俘虏们宣布 – 莫皮拉据说是




枪荷弹的德国水兵在大副克宁上尉的率领下登上莫皮拉岛 –上尉发现岛上除了几个土著





2004年12月27日,所有电视台,电台都在紧急播放着一则恐怖的新闻 ――印度


好运的尽头,上帝实在舍不得把它送到任何一艘英国人的战舰炮口下面,所以 ――所以




















战舰 – 卢克纳尔伯爵的海鹰号。