Saturday, February 19, 2005

Tips for a Massive Academic Job Search

Tips for a Massive Academic Job Search

Ellen Spertus

New: Another person's story (Oct. 8, 2000)

I can't believe that finishing my dissertation will be nearly as challenging as applying for over a hundred academic and research positions, spending seven weeks on the road, juggling offers with different expiration dates, solving the two-body problem, and negotiating a contract, which is how I've spent the spring of 1997. This document is meant as advice for other graduate students based on my experience and stories I've heard. I've made an effort to point to and not duplicate information available elsewhere. The best exhaustive site on the PhD experience is Phds.org.

The primary purpose of a job search is to find the best possible job. This can be divided into two components: determining what your ideal job is and convincing others to give you that position. When I began my search, I didn't know if I wanted to be at a research lab, a research university, or a liberal arts college. I wasn't even sure what academic department I was most interested in. My job search was as much about finding out what I wanted as convincing others to hire me.

This document will be most useful to female computer scientists whose partner is in computer science and also looking for a job, although most of it should be relevant to any doctoral candidate seeking a job. Parts of it will be relevant to search committee chairs wishing to be hospitable to job-seekers. You can add or view comments about this page.

The Early Stages

Your job search begins when you get to college. Not only is that when you being to network, but it's also when you begin to learn what it's like to be a professor. Networking is covered in other documents, such as Phil Agre's Networking on the Network and the CRA transcript on networking. It's harder to find advice about how to determine what type of job you want. Because you spend so much time in graduate school, it's easy to learn what life is like for professors at research universities. I don't think you can intelligently compare job categories unless you've also worked for at least a summer in industry (probably as an undergraduate) and at a research lab (probably as a graduate student). Unless you're certain you don't want to teach, you should get teaching experience. This will both help you determine whether you like teaching and make you a stronger candidate for teaching positions.

Another way to find out about the trade-offs of different jobs is to observe the people around you. In your years at graduate school, you'll see professors climbing the tenure ladder and ones who have made it. Learn from them. I observed that junior faculty members tended to get divorced, turn prematurely gray, or lecture classes right up until they went into labor. I also watched the choices made by students who graduated before me. Whatever the choice, you can learn interesting things by asking the person how he or she came to it and staying in touch so you can see how they feel after a few years. Also see John Wilkes' Is work hell? Life in industrial research and the Young Scientists Network archive for information on alternative careers for PhDs.

Organization

If you will be applying for many jobs, organization is crucial. My major organizational components were a spreadsheet for keeping track of applications, a word processor with support for address labels, a wall map for keeping track of geography, and a filing cabinet for application materials.

Whenever I found out about a position, I created a new row in a spreadsheet. The column headings included the school's name, city, state, number of positions, deadlines, the job listing URL, the department's URL, required application materials, whether letters were supposed to be sent directly, and the status of my and Keith's applications, including when we applied, what we sent, and when we received an acknowledgment. (Additional columns will be described later.) This allowed me to easily view, for example, all employers with deadlines of January 1 to which I had not yet applied or all schools that I'd applied to but had not yet received an acknowledgment from. The spreadsheet contained all the schools that either Keith or I applied to, so we were able to share the file. We also shared it with other graduate students. In a two-body job search, efficiency can be greatly increased by having each person work on what he or she is best at or prefers. For example, I did most of the typing, and Keith did most of the photocopying.

The word processor I used supported address labels, allowing me to type an address once and use it many times: on my letter, on Keith's letter, on our mailing labels, on mailing labels for our references, etc. Even when it's more work, you should cut and paste an address instead of retyping it, to avoid introducing typographical errors. You should create a default cover letter and then personalize it carefully for every application. I sent out at least one letter expressing my interest in "the Department of <>". You should save an online copy of every letter you send out, in case you need to resend or review it.

In order to keep track of geographical constraints, I bought and posted a road map of the United States and southern Canada, putting different colored map pins wherever we were applying. When one of us received an invitation to interview, I replaced the pin with a thumbtack so it was easy to see the status of our job search visually. The map also helped in planning the order of visits. Also useful was the web service How far is it?.

I was able to fit all of my job search in one hanging folder, which held a manila folder for copies of each component of my application packet, i.e., my CV, teaching statement, research statement, transcripts, and reprints of various papers. Other things to keep on file are stationery and envelopes, which you'll run through much faster than you expect. When you make copies of some component, like your CV, I advise you to make many. Keeping the folders full makes the marginal cost of an application small: just grab something from each folder and pop it in an envelope. You will invariably waste paper when you have to update material, but I don't think this can't be helped. Plant a tree when you graduate. Don't try to economize by using both sides of a piece of paper. I sent double-sided CVs to a few places I applied, and at two places I visited, I discovered that people I met with had only half my CV, since only one side had been copied. For this reason, you should also number your pages.

Ask your advisor if you can make job-related long-distance calls from your office at department expense. If not (and for when you're traveling), get a phone card that has low daytime rates (less than 20¢/minute) and no surcharge (except possibly from pay phones). Advertisements and applications appear in airplane magazines. It's a good idea to have a backup calling card in case your primary one stops working because all of your calls from different cities cause the company to assume it's been stolen. Stupid as this sounds, it did happen to me.

Determining Where to Apply

I followed my advisor's advice and applied anywhere that I thought it was even remotely possible that I would be interested. She told me that she sometimes hadn't realized how attractive a place was until after she reluctantly accepted their invitation to interview. Another professor advised me to instead select no more than ten places that I was most interested in and to really focus on those. I combined the approaches by applying everywhere and putting in extra effort to the likeliest places.

A great resource exists for finding academic and research positions, particularly in computer science: KAplan'sPhD Position Service. Not only are announcements from many different sources consolidated here, but they are archived. In contrast, ads posted at the CRA, ACM, and IEEE sites go away after a month or two (although one can refer to the printed magazines). You can also get on mailing lists, such as the CRA job list. There are sites that charge for access to the newest job listings and provide older ones for free, such as Computists International (for artificial intelligence jobs) and Chronicle of Higher Education. I found a six-month subscription to the Chronicle to be well worth the cost ($40.50). Not only could I electronically search the latest job listings, but I could easily research a school by searching the archives and could access data about professors' salaries, etc. If you're interested in teaching-oriented schools, in addition to reading the Chronicle, you should also join SIGCSE to get access to its job mailing list, or find someone to forward you the messages. I advocate sharing information with other graduate students. While it's possible that the job you want won't be offered to you because you told someone else about it and they applied, it's also possible that the job you want will be available because someone turned it down to accept a position you told them about. Besides, it's good karma.

One reason to eliminate jobs at this stage is a two-body constraint (a partner who is also seeking a job), unless you're willing to share a position. Keith and I only applied to places that had multiple positions or were near other employers. (Actually, before we were engaged, I applied to a few places in the boondocks. When Keith observed that there were no jobs for him nearby, I said that I didn't know yet what his intentions were.) He agreed to apply for jobs that weren't at the top of his list, and I did the same, to maximize the chances of finding a two-body solution. Neither of us played any games with only applying to places high on our list to try to force the other to make any sacrifices. If you don't want what's best for both of you, you shouldn't be getting married.

Keith wanted to work at a research-intensive institution, so he eliminated schools that didn't have PhD programs or had poorly-rated research programs. The Computing Research Association has a very useful tool for ranking PhD-granting CS departments (but see this dissenting opinion). I wanted to work with bright students, whether or not they were graduate students, so I eliminated schools that were rated as being less competitive based on their undergraduate admissions criteria. You can buy a college guide (often at a used book store) to find out what tier a school is in, or you can find the information online through U.S. News and World Reports. We added some of this information to our spreadsheet. You might also want to look for schools in a certain category, such as historically-black colleges and universities (HBCUs) or science-active liberal arts colleges, and guides are available for these. The best qualitative general guide to colleges I found was The Insider's Guide to the Colleges by the Yale Daily News staff. Take what you read in these books with a grain of salt, however. I read in Lisa Birnbach's College Book that Mills students wear "severe daytime dress-up... and have the luster of a newly lacquered manicure." Not when I visited. All of the students I saw were dressed casually, and they had just constructed a giant mud ball.

Some people apply to departments that haven't advertised positions. I didn't try doing this, although I did email some department heads at interesting schools to ask if they anticipated any openings; I didn't find any this way. When I applied to multiple departments at one school, I wrote in each cover letter that I was applying to both and would consider a joint position.

The Application

Ask for the job packets of successful job-seekers in order to create first drafts. Then, have your advisor and any other friendly professors suggest changes, which you should take very seriously. I was able to get very useful advice from MIT professors on applying to research universities. Since I was also interested in liberal arts colleges for women, I put together a draft job packet well before any were due and sent it for criticism to a friend who is a senior professor at such a school. I also found much useful information in Malcolm Campbell's How to Find a Teaching Job.

Make every effort to send in an application by the requested date. While some schools accept late applications without complaint, there are other schools that return or discard applications postmarked after the deadline, as I learned the hard way. You can always update an application by sending further information later. It is your responsibility to make sure that letters of recommendation arrive, especially if the position announcement says that you should arrange for the letters to be sent. You should find out from each reference how he or she likes to receive requests: through an assistant, with printed labels, with online labels in various formats, etc. You should send requests for multiple places together, instead of dribbling them in one at a time. Many places won't consider your application until it is complete (i.e., all letters have arrived) and don't tell you if it's incomplete. It is your responsibility to contact the professor or administrator in charge of the search to find out which letters have made it into your folder. Don't assume that because a letter got sent that it arrived to the right place. Many letters go astray and have to be resent.

Most schools will send you an acknowledgment within a few weeks of receiving your application or the deadline. If you do not get an acknowledgment, email or telephone the contact person. (I did this and discovered that something had indeed got lost along the way to one school.) You will also receive an affirmative action form from most places, requesting information on your race, sex, and how you found out about the position. (For this reason, you might want to include a column on your spreadsheet indicating where you first found out about a job.) Returning the forms is not required, and they are not part of your application. They go not to the search committee but to the affirmative action office, so they can document what type of people applied for the job and that it was properly advertised. Don't assume that if you're white that you're at a disadvantage. According to the 1996 Taulbee Report, "a much larger percentage of white non-Hispanics are hired into tenure-track positions than are awarded PhDs." Similarly, I have seen little advantage for female candidates – and more personal questions, which I'll get to in the section on interviewing.

For every position you care about, you should also find a personal contact. This is not optional. If you know a professor in the department, contact him or her and say that you're applying for a position and that you're very interested in the department. If you don't know somebody, ask your references, especially your advisor, to put in a good word for you, or see if you can find someone in a professional organization you belong to, such as NOGLSTP or Systers. I cannot stress enough how important a personal contact is. There was one school I was interested in – let's call it Stateville – because I had heard good things about it from a relative who had attended and because it was located in an area I wanted to live. I was very highly-qualified for the position and expected to be invited for an interview as soon as they started the process. I wasn't. I later found out this was because they thought I was out of their league, especially because they'd heard I had been invited to a more prestigious school in the area, which we'll call Joliet. I actually would have preferred Stateville to the more prestigious schools. By the time I found out what was going on from someone I met at Joliet, had her communicate my interest, and got an invitation, it was too late in the season for me to seriously consider them. Avoid these situations by making use of social networks early.

Responding to Invitations

Scheduling

Typically, a professor will call you (or ask you to call) to extend an invitation. A few financially-poorer schools wanted telephone interviews first. It was at this point that Keith and I mentioned the two-body problem, if there was no other employer in the area, although some couples don't say anything until one receives an offer. A couple that went through the process before me said that mentioning their spouse at the invitation stage usually got the spouse an invitation. That wasn't the case for us. We got invited to interview at two of the same schools, but that appears to have been coincidental. A few liberal arts colleges asked if we would be interested in sharing a position; we weren't. (While sharing positions helps some people solve the two-body problem and to balance an academic career with an outside life, my impression is that it's more than half-time work for each person at only half pay.) When told about the partner, we were sometimes told about job possibilities in the area and in one case received the suggestion that the other person apply for a research scientist position. Schools still encouraged us to fly out to interview even after we pointed out that our two-body constraint seemed unsolvable with them. Keith and I both had the experience of being invited to a school that wasn't interested in the other person. It might be hard psychologically if one partner is universally seen as the stronger candidate.

Some places offered more than a month's notice and a choice of interview dates; others said, "Be here by Wednesday or forget it." People typically have their first interview be at a place that's not their top choice, since they'll get better at interviewing as the season progresses. In general, however, I'd recommend interviewing at the places you're most interested in early in the season, particularly if you have a two-body problem. Keith and I timed things poorly, and I received an attractive Bay Area offer (with a two-week deadline) a week before Keith's first Bay Area interview. Another reason to schedule less attractive schools later is that you can cancel them if you get a more attractive offer before visiting. This is not rude. I've always been thanked when I've told a host that because of an offer I've received that it no longer makes sense for me to interview with them.

Because the invitations will arrive in a random order, possibly after you've started traveling, an optimal ordering is impossible. I thought of it as an on-line (on-the-fly) traveling salesman problem or sometimes as a treasure hunt, where in each city I'd find out what the next city would be. While you can't do an optimal scheduling, there are things you can do to make your scheduling easier:

  • Get a good travel agent. Mine is Judy Louis at Anspach Travel (1-800-345-7901).
  • Schedule slack into your schedule. Leave some space between your East Coast tour and your West Coast tour so you don't have to zigzag if more invitations come in. (If none do, you get to go home or take a vacation.)
  • Arrange for your weekends especially to be with you romantic partner if possible. Book yourself a room at a bed-and-breakfast. One of you should be able to get reimbursement from whoever's interviewing you that Friday or Monday, on the grounds that it kept you from having to fly home.
  • If you can't be with your partner, stay with friends or family. I found staying in a house or apartment with people I like to be far preferable to staying in a hotel room, however fancy.
  • Once you have an invitation, let other employers in the geographic area know that you'll be there. Sometimes a place will be willing to interview you if someone else pays or shares the travel expenses. Also, letting them know you have an invitation usually makes you more desirable.

The most strenuous weeks I booked had me doing a two-day interview on Monday and Tuesday, resting on Wednesday, and interviewing at two separate places on Thursday and Friday. Scheduling anything more intense than this is not recommended. After two days on, you should have a day off if at all possible. You can spend a rest day traveling if it's a non-stop flight, but it won't be a restful day if you're having to change planes and worry about connections. I'd recommend scheduling no more than three days of interviews and one day of traveling in a week. One two-day interview is less strenuous than two one-day interviews, since (1) you'll only have to give one talk (generally), (2) the second day is sometimes shorter, (3) you'll be going back to a familiar place, and (4) you won't have to do any traveling in between. You can make life easier for yourself by insisting on at least 15 minutes to your self immediately before your talk for preparation (or just for resting your head on a desk).

If you have any special needs, now's the time to make arrangements, such as those made by Elizabeth Lane Lawley, now an assistant professor at Rochester Institute of Technology:

I brought my (then 5-month-old) baby with me on interviewing trips. I was still breastfeeding, and was unwilling to wean for the purpose of a job hunt. So I arranged for child care in advance in each city, but also told the search chairs that I'd need private time at lunch each day in order to express milk for him. I figured that if they still offered me a job, I'd know they were basically mother- and family-friendly.

(If you're an academic woman with young children, you may want to contact Liz to join her email list.) Linda Jean Camp, now an assistant professor at Harvard, has written up advice on traveling with a toddler and breastfeeding a baby while at a conference.

Air Travel

You should belong to the major frequent flier programs. To consolidate your miles, find out which airlines are partners. For example, miles from Alaska Airlines can be credited to your Northwest account. Air Canada miles can go to several different U.S.-based carriers. If you have the time and can spare the money for the fee, order a credit card from an airline that gives you miles for purchases. While these typically cost $50-$80 per year, the start-up bonus miles (typically valued at $.02/mile) more than compensate – assuming that you amass enough miles on that airline to earn a free ticket (usually 25000 miles). I use bizmiles to keep track of frequent flier programs on various airlines.

Some air travel tips:

  • When considering flights, your travel agent (or online service) should be able to tell you what a flight's on-time rate is.
  • If you're changing planes, try not to be scheduled on the last flight of the day from the connection city to your destination.
  • Special meals are often better than the regular meals, especially for people with dietary restrictions. There's a high chance your special request will get lost, so confirm with the airline at least 24 hours in advance.
  • If you're buying a full coach ticket (i.e., no advance purchase), you can often get assigned a seat in the exit row, giving you more leg room. You can request one at check-in with a regular ticket. Only do this if you'd be strong enough to open the door.
  • When you check in, make sure your frequent flier number has been entered. It is a pain to try to get credit retroactively.
  • When you get your ticket, check it over immediately. I once told a travel agent I wanted to fly from Washington [State] to Dallas and received a ticket from Washington D.C. to Dallas.
  • Bring a bottle of water on the plane with you, and drink a lot. The size of the bottle doesn't matter, since the flight attendants will refill it for you.
  • If you get invited at the last minute, occasionally business class or first class will cost no more than the cheapest available coach fare. It doesn't hurt to ask.

Preparing for Interviews

The most strenuous part of the job search is traveling the interview circuit. The more you prepare in advance, the less stressful and more productive your trip will be. As I mentioned, I was on the road for over seven weeks, making it back to my home base (Seattle) for only two (separate) days during this time. You can get advice elsewhere on how to prepare a talk, what questions to expect, and so forth. You'll get the best job talk advice from people at your own institution who attend your practice talks. Be sure to include some people who aren't already familiar with your work.

The first thing you need to prepare for interview travel is money. You'll have to pay for dressy clothing, accessories, and travel expenses, such as airfare. You'll eventually get reimbursed for most of the travel expenses, but it won't happen overnight. I fronted over $3000. If you don't have the money, borrow it. Some advisors have been willing to make bridge loans to students.

You can save money on clothing by starting to shop for it well in advance, keeping an eye out for sales. Consider also checking out consignment shops (high-quality used clothing stores). You should have at least two dressy outfits, because some interviews last two days. You will also need some non-grubby comfortable clothes, because a faculty member may pick you up at the airport and take you straight to dinner with other people from the department. Make sure that your clothing is practical and doesn't wrinkle too easily. Women: When you're tempted to buy a dress or skirt that is knee-length or shorter, ask yourself whether you'll feel comfortable in it sitting next to someone, climbing up stairs, getting out of a car, etc. Also, make sure your shoes are comfortable, because you will have to walk around campuses. I find Easy Spirit to be a good brand of women's shoes. Wear your whole interview outfit for the day of a practice talk. If your blouse is see-through, you'll want to find that out before the real interview. Remember that new invitations might come in while you're on the road. I had only packed one outfit suitable to wear in warm locales but got invited at the last minute for a two-day interview in Los Angeles and had to improvise.

You will also need luggage, preferably a garment bag if you're bringing a suit. If you can't borrow one, use an opaque zip-up vinyl bag, which you can buy where you bought your suit. I bought some luggage with wheels and found that very helpful, although you shouldn't fool yourself into thinking you'll never need to carry it. Don't buy luggage at a posh store. You can get it much cheaper at a discount store, such as Target, or through AAA. I got a three-piece set of Samsonite luggage for $129 and brought the tote bag and the wheeled carry-on with me. While I sometimes checked the "carry-on", particularly when it was overstuffed and couldn't fit in the overhead bin, I was glad not to have a full-sized suitcase to lug. You often have to walk quite a ways from the gate or baggage area to the rental car. If you'll be making a number of trips, make life easier for yourself by keeping a toiletry bag stocked. If you're not sure whether to pack something, ask yourself how much it weighs and how inconvenient it would be not to have it. For example, bring a nail clipper, earplugs, and extra pantyhose. Don't necessarily bring enough reading material to last you the whole circuit, because it's easy and inexpensive to buy books and magazines as you travel. For more information on traveling light, see the Travelite FAQ. I don't recommend traveling with a bare minimum, however: Bring things that will make you feel comfortable in unfamiliar surroundings, such as a copy of your favorite tape (to play in rental cars) or a stuffed animal. Consider packing an empty duffle bag, in case you accumulate more stuff as you travel, as I did.

Be sure to think about your health needs when you pack. I was glad that I brought Pepto-Bismol, which was good for the nervous stomach I had before my first talk, and Source Naturals Wellness Formula, an echinacea-based tablet that I took when I felt particulary run-down to boost my immune system. If there are any infections that you are particularly prone to, you might want to bring treatment. In any case, bring information on how to contact your doctor. If you catch a cold, medicine won't help (except for the symptoms), but if your mucous turns green, you can call your doctor for antibiotics, which will probably help.

You'll need accessories to go along with your spiffy dress clothes. All the briefcases I saw were very expensive (hundreds of dollars), but I found a nice-looking fake leather portfolio for about $15. I don't know if you can get away with a canvas bag from a conference. I'd advise women not to lug purses. The dress I bought was sufficiently low-cut that a scarf was a necessity, as were safety pins, which I neglected to pack. Douglas Adams claims a traveler should never be without a towel. I found a scarf even more indispensible. I draped it over my arms to prevent sunburn when taking a long walk on a Southern California campus, I knotted it over my chest when I discovered that the front of a dress was flimsy, and I used it as a belt to increase the formality of a waistless dress.

If you live alone, you'll have to make arrangements for mail that arrives when you're gone. In the month before your trip, pay twice the amount on your utility bills if you can afford to. For example, if your phone bill is $30, send in a check for $60. That way you can safely not pay the next bill. (I'm presuming that your utility bills will tend to be lower when you're away.) Telephone any mail-order clubs you're in and tell them to suspend your membership until April 15. Arrange for a neighbor to pick up your mail and forward anything important, or have it held at the post office. I notified the post office that certain friends could pick up my mail. One did after a few weeks and forwarded things that looked important. I also had a friend watching my mailbox at school for job-related material. Since you may not be able to get to your email very often, you might want to have a friend check it for you. Keith checked my email while I was traveling and faxed important things to where I was staying through Faxaway, an email-to-fax gateway, that I had signed up for and would recommend. I told my office-mates to refer any callers to my home phone number, and I regularly checked for messages. It is crucial that you remain reachable during your job search.

The most useful information about each place can usually be found on the Web. Print the home page and the pages of all the people you expect to meet, and read them on the airplane. If you're in touch with other job-seekers, you may be able to pick up gossip about places they've been (or share gossip about where you've been). If you have the chance, learn to pronounce any unusual names of people in the department you think you're likely to meet. You can do this by asking around (either someone who knows the person or knows the language the name comes from) or by calling the person's office in the middle of the night and listening to their voice mail message.

Other important information that you'll want to keep on hand:

  • All of your airline frequent flier numbers. (I list mine in my address book.)
  • A copy of your slides in the source language (e.g., PowerPoint) and in a printable format (e.g., Postscript). You should store these on a disk that you bring with you and also place them in a directory you can download them from.
  • The IP addresses of machines where you can read your email. It's possible that you'll try logging in from somewhere that doesn't have the necessary domain name information.
  • Your passport if you might cross the U.S.-Canada border.
  • Your driver's license, for rental cars. Make sure it hasn't expired.

The most important preparation is probably emotional. In addition to figuring out what job you really want and not just what you think will impress or please others, you also have to deal with the fear of rejection. Many of us getting our PhDs have never been significantly rejected academically or professionally. You will get rejected on your job search. Most places you apply won't invite you for an interview, and most of these places won't make you an offer. Remember, if you never hear "no," you're not aiming high enough. Don't be afraid to risk rejection, and, when it comes, don't take it personally. Something that helped me keep perspective was a 1996 rejection letter from a third-rate university to Prof. Richard Karp, which was posted in the mailroom at University of Washington. Karp has won a National Medal of Science (1996) and the ACM Turing Award (1995), the highest award in computer science. If even he gets rejected, I think I can handle some rejection too.

Interview Trips

Before the Interview

When you arrive into town, usually through an airport, you will either be picked up by a faculty member, get a rental car, or ride a taxi or shuttle to your hotel. Often, you'll have dinner with your host the night before your interview. A few places even have receptions for a candidate at a professor's house. Attendence at these is greatest early in the season. These events can be a little awkard, especially if graduate students are present, in which case there will be two circles, one of faculty and one of students, forcing you to socially choose between the two. I'd advise spending at least half the time talking with faculty and at least ten minutes with students. While talking to the students is easier than talking with faculty, remember to behave professionally. This is a good time to ask students what they like best about the department. You can ask them more delicate questions the next day when the faculty isn't in earshot. Similarly, don't ask faculty members any delicate questions at a reception.

Most schools will put you up at a big hotel, although a few use inns or bed & breakfasts. If you are traveling with your partner and are not married, you will probably be asked if you want one room or two. Resist the temptation to make a smart remark and just answer the question ("one room will be fine" or "we'd prefer two rooms"). One time, Keith and I were given the choice of a hotel or a bed & breakfast. We chose the b&b and found it very pleasant. When we came home from a tiring day of interviewing, our hostess prepared tea for us. Breakfast was less of a production than at a hotel but at least as good, and we took the opportunity to talk with our hostess and learn more about the region. The disadvantages of b&b's are that you might not have a phone in your room, you may have a shared bathroom, and there won't be high-tech amenities like fax machines and voice mail. Whether you're at a hotel or b&b, you can expect to be able to request an iron and ironing board.

When you check into a hotel or rent a car, ask if they grant frequent flier mileage. You may also want to ask at check-in what's included. Usually, local calls are free or paid for by your hosts. You may have to pay for long-distance calls yourself. Room service is usually covered but not always, and there may be a daily limit on what you can spend on food a day (which is only likely to be a practical issue if your partner is accompanying you). I don't know whether laundry or dry-cleaning are ever covered; I didn't use them. It's simpler to buy fresh pantyhose and to wash underwear in the sink with bar soap, letting it air dry overnight.

It's good to have lots of one-dollar bills with you at a hotel, since there are so many times tips are expected. When possible, such as with meals at their restaurant or room service, include the tip on the bill, so the school will pick it up. I never tried getting reimbursed for tips not associated with a meal or taxi bill. You should leave a tip of $1-2 per day for housecleaning, either daily (preferred) or at the end of your trip. Make sure you place the money in such a way that they know you mean to give it, such as on an unmade bed or with the free toiletries. While you can easily get away with not tipping housecleaning, remember that you're in a privileged position interviewing for these prestigious jobs and that these people have to work very hard at less interesting work for less money. Similarly, you should tip cab drivers at least 10-15%, more on inexpensive trips. If your partner is with you and you're talking about how rich the two of you will be, you have to tip more. Be sure to always request a receipt and to record the total with tip. You should also jot on it the date and some note that will help you remember what trip it was for when you write up your expenses. If the cab driver says he or she is out of receipts, make your own receipt on a piece of notebook paper and get their signature.

The Interview

You will typically be met at your hotel in the morning by a faculty member, around 8:30 if you're just getting a ride, earlier if you're having breakfast together. Your day will be filled with meetings of 30-45 minutes with professors and usually one or two meetings with a dean, provost, or president. You may or may not meet with students, possibly en masse. Of course, you'll give a talk on your research or, at an undergraduate institution, teach a class. You will have lunch and dinner with people from the department. The rest of this section discusses some general principles, such as attitude, and specific activities in more detail.

Attitude

In the preparation phase, it is good to be a perfectionist. Not in the interview phase. If something goes wrong, accept it. If you're late to the university, whether through your own fault or circumstances beyond your control, stay calm. You'll get there eventually, and getting stressed out won't help. If you appear in casual clothes because your luggage has gotten lost, apologize to each person you meet with and to your audience, letting them know in one sentence what happened, then proceed confidently. What's less important than actually wearing the formal clothes is communicating that you sincerely tried to. While you can be a maverick in your research, don't flout convention unnecessarily in other areas.

You should always appear confident, making sure that you know the difference between confidence and arrogance. Even at schools famous for their arrogance, they do not like arrogant visitors. Here are some sample exchanges:

Question: "Why did you do X in such-and-such a manner?"
Bad answer: "Uh."
Confident answer: "For reasons A, B, and C... Although if I'd realized when I'd started that Y, I would have considered Z instead. I'd definitely have used Z if I had more memory."
Arrogant answer: "Any other approach would be really stupid."

Comment: "Your thesis seems like it's just a hack."
Bad answer: "Uh."
Confident answer: "I don't think it's a hack. The way I see it is blah blah blah. It is true, however, that it's less theoretical than some of the work that's been done, such as So-and-So's. Let me describe some research I'm planning to do on top of this (or that I did for my Master's thesis)."
Arrogant answer: "No, this isn't just a hack. It's the most important thesis in architecture in recent years."

Question: "Are you aware of So-and-So's related work on blah blah blah?"
Bad answer: "Oh no! Uh-oh."
Confident answer: "No I'm not. That sounds really interesting. I'll look into it. Could you give me a reference? Thanks for pointing me to it."
Arrogant answer: "I don't know the work, so it must not be relevant."

Meetings with Faculty Members

I felt that senior faculty members (those with tenure) used meetings to judge me or to sell the department, while junior faculty, who had recently been on the job market themselves, tried to put me at ease and invited me to ask them questions about the department. A question I asked all junior faculty was what hours they worked. I ruled out one research university when a professor answered, "This week I've been getting up at 6:30 [AM] and going home at 2 AM, but this is an unusually tough week. Normally, I go home at 1 AM." Some other questions I liked to ask were:

  • In the past few years, how many people have been denied tenure?
  • Which colleges are most like yours? (This was helpful when visiting a school I didn't have a feel for. Note that they'll usually describe themselves as being comparable to a school that outsiders consider better.)
  • What are the worst aspects of the school?
  • What's expected of a junior faculty member?
  • Where else did you consider working? Why did you choose this school?
  • How is the department governed?
  • How much time to people spend on teaching?

One professor at a school I visited told a story from his job search about an exchange he had with a very senior professor:

Candidate: "I've heard that junior faculty members here have no power, and the department is run in an autocratic manner."
Senior professor (angrily): "Who told you that?"

The candidate refused to answer the question, despite the professor's insistence. Later in the discussion, the professor untensed, smiled, and said, "I've figured out who must have told you that." The candidate wisely concluded that this was a department to avoid.

One interesting thing I noticed was that whenever I asked a male faculty member what percentage of the students in the department were female, his off-the-top-of-his-head estimate was always much higher than the actual number than I found out later from the person who had the statistics. I'd be curious if other people have had the same experience. I'm afraid I was a little undiplomatic on this subject. When a professor told me that they'd been trying to get more female students in the department, I had the temerity to ask what they were trying, putting him in the awkward position of admitting that they hadn't actually done anything.

Don't ask questions that you don't want the answer to. When I met with a female professor in another department of a school I visited and discussed the environment for women in the CS department, all of whose professors were male, she told me that one of the professors (not the department head) sometimes behaved offensively. I asked who, and she said she was willing to answer but that I should first be sure that I really wanted to know. Especially since it was a small department and I'd have to interact with everyone, I realized that no, I didn't want to know. I soon found out anyway from a student who told about some crude behavior in the classroom. At the end of the day, the department head asked me if I had any advice on how to make the department more hospitable to women. I don't know if it was politic, but I relayed the story to him, without using any names. He was surprised by the story and tried to get me to tell him who the professor was, which I wouldn't. He indicated that it was the sort of behavior that he didn't consider acceptable and would do something about if it was brought to his attention, which was good for me to find out.

Some people will offer you something to drink or a bathroom break. If they don't and you want something, speak up. The same goes for nonstandard requests, such as if you need a safety pin or to make a phone call.

Especially after you've been on the road for a while, it can be hard to be enthusiastic for a meeting, particularly if you know there's no way that you're going to work at this place. While the primary purpose of interviewing is matching graduates with jobs, an important secondary function is cross-pollenization. In your meetings, you can meet interesting people, find out about others' work, tell them about work they might be interested in, pick up gossip about other places you'll be visiting, and more. No meeting will be a waste of time if you make the most of it.

Now might be a good place for a digression on gossip. There's nothing wrong with gossiping; "gossip" (the noun) just means "information". You don't need to say anything unkind; in fact, you should say kind things whenever possible. My host at one university only had positive things to say about everyone, which made a good impression on me. My advice would be:

  1. Listen a lot more than you talk.
  2. When you have something good to say about someone, say it.
  3. If you have something bad to say, only do so if there's a good reason and, even then, tone it down, and don't let on if you're enjoying telling it.

An example of a compelling reason to say something negative would be if someone considering going to a school you're knowledgeable about asks your advice. Here are some examples of syntactic sugar:

You mean: "Almost everyone in Prof. V's group quit in disgust last year."
You say:
"I know that there are some students who had problems with Prof. V, but I don't know all the details."

You mean: "Prof. W is racist and sexist."
You say:
"Some people feel that Prof. W is most comfortable with white men."

You mean: "People expect Prof. X to be denied tenure in a few years."
You say:
"I'd be concerned about working with Prof. X, because he doesn't have tenure, and it's always something of a craps shoot at Drofnats University."

You mean: "Prof. Y appropriated one of his student's thesis work for his start-up."
You say:
"Prof. Y has a start-up, and there's been some concern about the independence of it and his research group."

You mean: "I can't think of anything good to say about Prof. Z, and none of the charges have been proven."
You say:
"I really don't know much about Prof. Z; I'm sorry."

Some of the most useful gossip I got was when people had worked somewhere I was considering. For example, I found out that one department I was visiting had denied tenure to the overwhelming majority of their faculty since its founding.

The juiciest gossip I received about people's home institutions was from students, who haven't yet learned to be discreet. One professor told me that there were two professors in the department who didn't get along but didn't say who they were; an undergraduate volunteered that information cheerfully, along with further details. I tended to get the most honest evaluations from students I struck up conversations with myself, although sometimes the department's hand-picked ones gave very useful information. One student I started talking with in a lab (a great place to hang out) at "Bayside" told me that his (former) advisor had been fired and was suing the university. A quick web search revealed that the school was under censure from the American Association of University Professors, a troubling sign.

Another very good way to learn about a school is reading current and past issues of its student newspaper. My host at Bayside deterred me from picking up the current issue when I was walking with him. I picked one up later and discovered that the front-page story was about a letter protesting the treatment of professors signed by all of the faculty members. Papers are sometimes accessible online, or you can also visit the newspaper office to read back issues or telephone to mail-order them.

To get the most out of your trip, keep a journal, preferably online, into which you transcribe and expand upon your notes from each day. As Mark Twain wrote, "A journal properly kept is worth a thousand dollars when you've got it done." Unfortunately, as Twain discusses in chapter 4 of the appropriately-titled Innocents Abroad, many journals get started with the best of intentions, and few get finished. I must confess that I am one of those delinquents. I went from writing a page about each place, which I shared with friends who asked to be kept posted on my progress, to writing nothing. Here are a few entries, containing both personal and technical information:

My first interview was at Mills College on Tuesday, Feb. 18.... I met with the two tenure-track CS faculty members, Susan Wang and Matthew Merzbacher. Susan got her SB from MIT around 1985. She's about to come up for tenure, and no problems are expected. At lunch, she asked me how I would supervise compiler/architecture research, and I said I'd get back to her. I had heard about Matt from Franklyn Turbak and Sean Sandys. Franklyn knew Matt from Wellesley and Sean from Williams, both places where Matt has taught. He's very nice and was a warm host, showing me around the campus and taking me to his duplex in Faculty Village, where he lives with his wife, who is pregnant....

[Note the degradation in notes quality at this later interview:] ....The other group I was being considered for was user interfaces. Dr. T was out of town, so I met with Dr. C and Dr. H. Both of those meetings went well, although my meeting with Dr. J, their boss, did not. It was my last meeting of the day, I was sleep-deprived, and I felt as though she wasn't treating my ideas with respect. Dr. K demoed his X system to me, and I showed him the Y system and suggested he see about getting their code. My meeting with Dr. P (AI) went poorly. Dr. F started by criticizing my research a lot, but things went better after I acknowledged its limitations and started taking notes on his leads: deductive databases, XSB at SUNY Stony Brook, U Wisc Madison, Ramakrishnan COREL?, Jeff Ulman's group at Stanford, Alon Levy. I had a pleasant meeting with Dr. F and Dr. S. They suggested I look at Datalog, which I could read about in Ulman's database book or in Vianu _Database Systems_ Abiteboul? They reminded me of the Z work by Prof. A, although they appeared not to have that high an opinion of it. The person I met with next (not clear from my notes) knows Lynn [my advisor] and suggested that users care a lot about response time; I agreed, also thinking that I should add user time to my measures. This person told me that Datalog differed from Prolog in having no functors, being bottom-up, and being decidable. Dr. M suggested that I look into the Verity more-like-this feature and showed me their experimental web site.

I wish I had a set of notes that included all the places I visited. Try to do a better job than I did. For inspiration, read chapter 4 of Twain's appropriately-titled Innocents Abroad. At the very least, save the schedules of everywhere you visited so you know who you met with. Mark any changes on the written schedule throughout the day.

Meeting with Administrators

Meetings with administrators ranged from low-pressure chats to a high-pressure simultaneous grilling by a president and provost on where I was likely to get research funds. In general, you should let the administrator take the lead. Sometimes, the professor walking you to the meeting will have told you what the administrator wants to hear, such as when I was told, "He'll want to hear how much money you'll be able to raise."

While you should get guidance from your hosts, be sure to distinguish between their interests and yours. One search chair told me that the provost didn't appreciate how much a computer science professor needed to be paid and that I should tell her I'd require a lot of money. I didn't say anything on the subject. That was the search committee's job, not mine, or for after I'd gotten the offer. At another institute, after the first day of interviews, I told my host that it was a bad match and that I definitely did not want the job. He told me to meet with the president the next day anyway, not telling her of my negative decision, so as not to "hurt her feelings". I'm sure the real reason was that he didn't want the president to find out that the search committee had flown in someone so ill-suited to the positition. In any case, I agreed not to tell her of my conclusion. (As it happened, a freak blizzard intervened, and the school closed down the second day.)

I liked to ask administrators whether any women who became a mother while on the tenure-track had gotten tenure. When no data was available on that, I would sometimes ask about the retention of female faculty. Of course, nobody told me that I couldn't get tenure if I had a baby. One president said, "I don't see why that would be a problem. That's just three months out of six years." (Presumably, he would have told a prospective father that it's just fifteen minutes.) While it's good to ask administrators questions, you should take their answers with a grain of salt. For example, it's fun to ask administrators how important teaching is ("very important") and to report the answer back to professors, giving them a good laugh.

My most interesting discussion with a provost was at a school that I'll refer to at Oswego. Because I had decided from that day's prior meetings that I didn't want to work there, I talked turkey with him, and he reciprocated. Specifically, I told him why the position was less attractive than other ones I'd seen, that there were a lot of positions open that year, and what he could do to make the offer more attractive. He listened appreciatively to what I said, concurring and volunteering further information. I asked him how Oswego compared to nearby Bayside (where I had been told that the two schools were equal). He gave a very interesting and honest answer: "Let me put it this way: Their professors graduated from here, while our professors graduated from better schools."

Giving Your Talk

There are plenty of other places where you can get advice on job talks. I'll just repeat a few tips:

  • Find a friendly-looking person in the audience to look at frequently. It's better for your morale to look at smiling than scowling faces.
  • Take a drink of water when someone asks a question. Not only is it a free moment, but it keeps you from looking as through you might be about to interrupt.
  • Deflect less relevant questions with "Let's discuss that off-line."
  • The talk is important not just for showing your research but also for showing your teaching ability.

If you interview at both research universities and primarily-undergraduate institutions, you may have to develop multiple talks, or at least adjust them for different audiences. When I was invited to interview at Mills, I was asked to guest lecture a class. Since I wanted to visit Mills before my iminent East Coast tour and didn't have time to prepare a new lecture, I asked if I could give a talk I had ready that was appropriate to undergraduates and said that, if I passed that first round, I'd come back and lecture a course later, without their having to pay any additional expenses (mostly picked up by other Bay Area employers). They agreed.

When I came back, I taught a computer architecture class attended by six students (Mills has small classes) and most of the department's faculty members (about the same number). I knew from the start that my blackboard technique was atrocious. (I had no classroom experience.) A student challenged a statement I made and I wasn't able to come up with an answer for what seemed like tens of seconds. I felt the class was going so badly that I was seriously tempted to stop and give up in the middle. I persevered and, to my surprise, was told after the class that I'd done well and later received a job offer. I think what saved me was having done the following things right:

  1. I had been told ahead of time that the class would be small, so I had prepared a worksheet and called on the students round-robin fashion to answer questions. It turns out the other contenders just lectured to the six students for ninety minutes.
  2. When I didn't immediately know the answer to that question, I admitted it instead of trying to bluff.
  3. I had already told the faculty that I knew my classroom skills were weak, due to inexperience, and that I looked forward to improving them. In response, I had been asked if I'd be willing to team-teach a course with a more experienced professor, and I answered (honestly) that I thought that would be great.

Meals

Meal times give you a good opportunity to see how people in the department interact with each other. I was turned off when faculty members casually insulted each other over lunch at one school. At another school, a male professor member kept touching the female faculty members more than I'd want to be touched by any colleague but Keith.

I would often be asked by the host what type of food I liked (in order to help choose a restaurant). I either named a local speciality, asked for some options, or left the decision entirely to my host. While I think a vegetarian could be accomodated at the last minute, someone who observes a vegan or kosher diet might want to give advance warning.

At lunch, I avoided heavy foods, to keep from getting sleepy, often choosing sandwiches. If others had dessert or coffee, I requested fruit or herbal tea so as to have something. At dinner, I went all out, as did the other attendees, who see these meals as a junket. The host usually asked me before ordering if I would like wine. I always said "no", since I don't drink, and added, "but don't let me stop you". This is also how I would recommend turning down dessert (not an issue for me).

The bad part about these dinners it that I was always exhausted before they were over. As socializing continued after dessert and coffee, I sometimes resorted to hints, such as visibly yawning or asking what time my first meeting the next day was, although these had little effect.

Manners

Occasionally, you'll meet up with someone who doesn't know how to behave professionally toward women. One candidate was at a dinner where an older professor cheerfully praised her looks and said that, consequently, he was for hiring her. While some people would advocate telling the professor off, I'd recommend ignoring the remark or saying something like: "If you think I look good now, wait until you see my thesis results." I know it's lame, but at least it calls attention back to what is important. For guidance in this sort of situation and elsewhere, I highly recommend Ms. Mentor's Impeccable Advice for Women in Academia, by Emily Toth.

I'll take this opportunity for a digression on etiquette. The main rule of interaction is deceptively simple: A lower-status person defers to a higher-status person. What's tricky is how status is determined and what sort of deference is expected. Here are the basic rules for determining status:

  • A guest has higher status than a host.
  • A woman has (nominally) higher status than a man in social situations, as does an older person over a younger person.
  • A higher-ranked person has higher status than a lower-ranked person.
Some ways that someone defers are:
  • Letting the other person choose whether to shake hands.
  • Allowing the higher-status person to pass through a door first.
  • Carrying the higher-status person's bags.
Note that gender is not supposed to matter in professional situations. At a crowded talk, it would be polite (but not required) for a female graduate student to offer her chair to a male professor, as would be true if the sexes were reversed. Years ago, I ran into Jaron Lanier on an elevator on my way to hear him speak at the Media Lab. Even though he's a big guy, and I was a petite young woman, he accepted my offer to "help" him with his bags (showing the same graciousness as the police officer Robert Fulghum wrote about, who, when arresting topless protesters, included a flat-chested woman).

I think etiquette is most interesting when different people's protocols conflict. For example, after finishing an elevator ride with a senior professor at my home institution, I automatically waited for him to disembark first. Since he was raised with the rule that a gentleman defers to a lady, even if he is a Turing Award winner and she a mere graduate student, he likewise paused for me to get off first. Did I insist on waiting him out or tell him off for being sexist (considering my being female more significant than my being a grad student)? Of course not. I got off the elevator and gave him a smile and nod of thanks. Moral: Don't take offense when someone has the best of intentions. In other words, respect diversity. This goes for inappropriate but well-intentioned compliments too.

Anyway, as a guest, you will be treated as having higher status than people in the host department, whether you're male or female. Professors will offer to carry your bags, and you should feel free to accept. Don't be confused if few people offer to shake hands. If they're following standard etiquette, they're waiting for you to initiate the handshake. The only time on the interview circuit that I didn't offer my hand was when I was introduced to a man who was wearing a yarmulke (head-covering worn by Orthodox Jewish men). Because many such men don't like to touch strange women, I didn't want to put him in the situation of refusing a handshake or doing something he was uncomfortable with. I discussed this with him later, and he said that while he does shake hands with women, he doesn't like to be behind closed doors with a woman (besides his wife and relatives), which has caused offense to a secretary in the department. Just as we'd insist that a man respect a woman's sexual modesties, we should respect men's.

There are people who will tell you that it's illegal to be asked personal questions, so it won't happen to you. Hogwash. As I suspect any female job-seeker (and some males) can tell you, they are asked. It's also not true that asking such questions is illegal, in the sense that a court would impose a punishment. What is illegal is discriminating on the basis of whether someone is a parent, for example, whether the fact is determined directly or indirectly. If a potential employer asks a candidate whether she has children, she answers yes, and she does not get a job offer, she would have to prove that it was her parental status that caused them not to make an offer in order to have any legal rights. Employers (nominally) avoid asking such questions, because their being ignorant makes it trivial to argue that they didn't discriminate.

I was asked some inappropriate personal questions, sometimes by top administrators who should have known better, such as whether I had children. Instead of refusing to answer or making a smart remark ("not that I know of"), I just answered honestly. (Asking whether I had children was always a prelude to telling me what a good place the area is for families.) I was surprised when a department head asked if my fiance would choose a job first and then I would choose a job near his. My answer: a simple "no". You may want to think ahead of time about how you would answer likely personal questions.

After Your Visits

Submitting receipts

With each set of receipts, send a cover letter listing and totaling the charges. Some employers insist on your social security number, so you may want to include that just in case. Save copies of the receipts and cover letter. One prospective employer did need to be prodded to pay up. If you haven't heard anything a month after submitting receipts, send a friendly note asking if they need any further information in order to reimburse you.

Endgame

My first offer was from Mills, which gave me a two-week response time. Because it is in the San Francisco Bay Area, where many of Keith's top choices were, we were optimistic that we could find a two-body solution, although he had not yet interviewed in the Bay Area. I explained the situation to Mills and expressed my strong interest in the position, beginning to negotiate a contract. They had offered to let me start in January and to give me a reduced teaching load my first semester. The ordinary load is 5 courses per year (two semesters), so I would have "only" had to teach 2 courses my first semester. A friend at another school pointed out to me that the benefit was less than the usual one-year reduction, so I requested and was granted a reduced load for my first three semesters (2 courses per semester). Because I was starting mid-year, the original contract given to me by Mills was ambiguous about when I would come up for tenure. I asked for and received a statement that it would be my choice whether to be reviewed for tenure after five-and-a-half or six-and-a-half years. I asked for more money in salary (even though the offer was higher than I expected) but did not receive it. I discussed equipment needs, both technical and ergnomic, and was assured they would be filled, although no dollar amount was specified in my contract. Because of the commercial possibilities for my research (information retrieval from the Internet), I asked for and, to my surprise, received a written statement that I would retain all rights to intellectual property I create, including copyright and patents, even if I created the work on Mills equipment.

Keith and I continued interviewing as scheduled, letting potential employers know about the Mills deadline and that we needed an offer as soon as possible. One Bay Area research lab made me an offer within a day or two of my interview. I also contacted an attractive college and research lab I had interviewed at earlier to ask for an expedited decision. Both told me they would not be making me offers, which was disappointing but not devastating. One of the places had offered their faculty position to someone I too considered more qualified, and the research lab did not hire anyone that year.

By the end of my two-week grace time from Mills, Keith had an oral but not written offer from one of his top-choice employers, NASA Ames, in Mountain View. Since Keith and I were both in the Bay Area (him for interviews, me for a conference), we visited Mills, in order to strongly convey my interest even though I wasn't ready to sign. This also gave me a chance to see my proposed co-workers again and for Keith to meet them. I was granted another week, during which time Keith received a written offer from another attractive Bay Area company, and I orally accepted the Mills offer and withdrew my other applications. The paperwork for both NASA and Mills took a few weeks to complete.

To recap the statistics, my 100+ applications netted me about 25 invitations to interview, of which I accepted about half. As discussed above, I received two offers and two rejections before withdrawing my applications. Keith received three offers, all from research labs, before withdrawing his applications. We're glad the job search is over and feel very fortunate to have found a two-body solution.

Pointers

Add or view comments about this page.

Recommended books for job-seeking PhDs

  • Christina Boufis and Victoria C. Olsen, eds. On the Market: Surviving the Academic Job Search. Riverhead Books, 1997.
  • Emily Toth. Ms. Mentor's Impeccable Advice for Women in Academia. University of Pennsylvania Press, 1997.

Paperback novels about academic life to read on airplanes

  • Jane Smiley, Moo. Ballantine Books, 1996.
  • Richard Russo, Straight Man. Vintage Books, 1998.
  • Carl Djerassi, Cantor's Dilemma. Penguin, 1991.
  • John Cramer, Twistor. Avon, 1997.

Three must-reads on weddings and marriage

The Academic Job Search Handbook
Mary Morris Heiberger and Julia Miller Vick

Third Edition
240 pages | 6 x 9
Paper 2001 | ISBN 0-8122-1778-0 | $16.50t | £11.00

让英国海军发疯的冯·卢克纳尔伯爵

“陛下,给我一条纵帆船出海一战吧,让我把英国佬打得灵魂出窍。”

假如这是在中世纪,这样敢于挑战大不列颠的军官固然有些鲁莽,至少会获得勇敢刚毅的
美名。
然而,当德国皇家海军菲力克斯.冯.卢克纳尔少校当面向威廉二世皇帝提出这个建议的时
候,时光已经到了1916年,且不说德国海军在日德兰海战刚被英国人打得缩回基尔港口不
敢出门,这位少校提出要用来和英国人交战的居然是要一艘帆船!这个时候,对于大多数
水手来说,帆船早已成为一种古董了阿。

因此,从上述要求判断,冯·卢克纳尔少校需要的大概不是一条帆船,而是一个比较好的
精神病医生吧。

然而,威廉二世却认真的听取着这位少校的“疯话”。

不是每一个帝国的少校都有机会和皇帝陛下来一番这样的恳谈,但是卢克纳尔不是一个平
常的少校,他是德国著名贵族卢克纳尔家族的长子,普鲁士伯爵,他的家族世代盛产骁勇
善战的骑兵将领。更让威廉二世相信他没有疯的原因是这位皇帝对此人的经历了如指掌。



卢克纳尔伯爵相貌堂堂,是德国贵族中的另类,他从小富于反叛精神,胆大心细,善于独
出心裁。此人13岁就混上远洋轮船,用假名当过货船的侍者,灯塔看守员,救世军团员。
甚至还混到墨西哥的军队里当过兵,他还当过铁道工人甚至农民,纯粹是为了锻炼自己。
这家伙没有在墨西哥的内战中把性命送掉,相反发了一笔小财,说明卢克纳尔天生就是那
种冒险家。

此后,伯爵进入航海学校,当了八年海军士官,从海军出来,先后五次见义勇为,抢救落
水儿童 – 错了,不仅是儿童,还有妇女和寻短见的。(邪了,老萨活了这么大,一回也
没有碰上,怎么他老碰上往水里掉的人啊,。。。)因为这些事迹目击证人们要求给他授
奖,他却学雷锋拒绝领奖。当然最后这些事迹还是被宣传了出去,以至传到了皇帝的耳朵
里。战争爆发的时候,卢克纳尔伯爵正以少校身份在公海舰队服役,亲身参加了惊心动魄
的日德兰大海战。

威廉二世因此认定卢克纳尔少校的独出心裁并非发疯,而一定有他自己的道理。

卢克纳尔的确有自己的主意,他向威廉二世再次解释 – “我们海军的头儿们认为我是在
发疯,既然我们自己人都认为这样的计划是天方夜谭,那么,英国人一定想不到我们会这
样干的吧,那么,我认为我可以成功的用古老的帆船给他们一个教训。”

这段话充分体现了卢克纳尔独特的思维,他的想象力浪漫而实用。

一位被他俘虏的意大利船长写过自己被俘的经过,也能够反映卢克纳尔的狡诈 – “那艘
帆船的船长很客气的请我到他的船上做客,我们走进他的船长室,在桌子前坐下。就在这
时,整个桌子忽然落下 – 原来这桌子下面是一个电动的升降台!等我明白过来,周围已
经有二十只枪指着我的脑袋,而那位风度潇洒的船长则脱去制服,露出了德国海军的军装
,宣布我和我的船成了他的俘虏。。。”

这自然是伯爵的手笔了,把饭桌变成可以升降的笼子,既体现了卢克纳尔的想象力,也体
现了德国人热衷机械的特点。

威廉二世被说动了,他同意了卢克纳尔的计划,用一条帆船去袭击英国人的海上航线,指
挥官当然就是卢克纳尔本人。 -- 他赌对了,卢克纳尔没有疯,倒是几乎让大英帝国的海
军部差点儿疯掉。


一 二十世纪的风帆战舰
得到皇帝的支持,卢克纳尔终于有机会实现自己的梦想了 – 用一条古老的风帆战舰充当
水面袭击舰,在英国佬的后腰上狠狠捅上一刀。这个离奇而富有古老浪漫主义的计划让卢
克纳尔干劲儿倍增,不过,事情还是有很多麻烦的。

完成这个计划要找到一条合适的船。不幸的是德国这个工业化进程迅速的国家没有保留多
少古老的风帆战舰,风帆游艇倒是不少,无奈吨位太小,不适合出海作战。勉强找到的几
艘大型帆船造型上又都有着鲜明的德国风格。卢克纳尔开始羡慕英国人了。英国因为是老
牌殖民帝国,在世界的各个角落保留着不少老式的帆船,要是能借来一艘。。。

无巧不成书,卢克纳尔伯爵正在伤脑筋的时候,前几天还把他当疯子的海军部来帮忙了
–他们想起来1915年的时候德国潜艇曾经抓来过一条英国大帆船,给卢克纳尔用正合适。
这艘英国船就是格拉斯哥建造的“巴马哈通行证”号(英国人这条船的名字怎么这么别扭
呢?)排水量1,571吨,它在1915年悬挂美国旗从纽约开往阿尔汉格尔斯克途中,被英国
海军征用,不料没走几里就碰上了德国潜艇。因为挂着英国旗,德国海军不由分说连人带
船就一锅端了,还缴获了一船美国棉花。

用商船改造成伪装巡洋舰再出海打猎是德国海军的拿手好戏,不过没人动过这艘船的主意
,这玩艺儿是1888年的老古董,而且下水的时候就已经落后了,那时候中国建造的平远号
装甲巡洋舰已经蒸汽铁甲,威风凛凛啦!

现在卢克纳尔提出了古怪的要求,人家就想起来了,对了,这儿还有一条废物,你要,就
拿去吧。

卢克纳尔可不嫌弃,相反如获至宝,这种纯血统的英国帆船,可是最理想的伪装,他不但
立刻收下了这条船,而且给它起了个响亮的名字 – “海鹰号”。

于是,在卢克纳尔爵士的亲自设计监督下,这艘老舰就被送进了船坞,开始古怪的改造工
程。

改造中的海鹰号,附近还有几条备用帆船,不过都因为德国味太浓,不能为伯爵所中意。


卢克纳尔的要求处处和普通的船只不同,他设计了一个精美的船长室 – 包括那个古怪的
饭桌升降机,而船舶的武器库和两门107毫米炮藏的十分隐蔽,就是登舰检查,如果不知
道暗门在那里,也很难发现它们的存在;同时,他下令建成特别巨大的能存储燃料和饮料
水的舱室,船员住舱之外还准备了多达400张床铺的特殊住舱 – 您说伯爵你要开旅馆阿
?没错,卢克纳尔船长考虑的十分周到,他想的是碰上了海上的英国船,自然不会客气,
可是俘虏的船员总得让人家吃好睡好吧。要不怎么说卢克纳尔伯爵被称作“古代骑士”呢
?他还是很崇尚骑士精神的,英国人对这一点也很钦佩,不过“古代骑士”的称呼只是私
下里说说,官面儿上还是把这个神出鬼没的家伙叫做“海上幽灵”。

不过准备四百张床,伯爵的胃口未免大了点儿。。。

这条改装的袭击舰还装上了两台蒸汽发动机 – 打起来总不能真的靠帆追敌人的汽船吧。


最后,卢克纳尔让小伙子们在船舱面上覆盖满杂乱的原木,外人眼里,“海鹰号”就成了
地地道道老式木材运输船,说不定人家还要想 – 都是因为战争啊,连这种老掉牙的家伙
也要出来拉货了。他们不知道这老家伙实际上有小伙子都不如的好牙口。

看着伪装巧妙的海鹰号,伯爵志得意满,就等着出海打猎了。

当时,德国的海口已经都被英国海军封锁,要出港除了硬闯,就要装扮成中立国的船只了
。卢克纳尔把海鹰号装扮成了一条挪威船。

伪造航海日志未免危险,卢克纳尔伯爵这回当了一次间谍,他在德国特工帮助下,在哥本
哈根冒港务监督埃克曼之名,单身溜上了一条很象海鹰号的挪威帆船马耳他号,从船长室
偷出了一套完整的航海日志。在他的心里,这种冒险游戏显然很对胃口,而马耳他号粗心
大意的船长做梦也不会想到他这样一条老式帆船的航海日志丢失,和正在进行的战争有何
关系。

海鹰号做好了出击的准备。

“海鹰”碰上了“复仇”
卢克纳尔伯爵的准备可算天衣无缝,但是上帝却想和他开个玩笑,在他等待出港的时候,
德国间谍报告,那条真正的马耳他号已经出海,行踪不明。这下子热闹了,如果英国海军
同时在两个地方,比如大西洋和新西兰,碰上两条马耳他号,卢克纳尔的把戏马上就要穿
帮。

不过这难不住德国人,卢克纳尔找来专家对那本航海日志进行了修改,海鹰号就摇身一变
,成了“挪威帆船伊尔马号”。12月16日,海鹰号满载补给品,开始了远征,目标是协约
国在大西洋上的运输线。

选择这个时间出海是有原因的,这时正是北大西洋狂风骇浪的季节,有利于海鹰号避开英
国海军在北海封锁线上执勤的舰艇,同时,卢克纳尔还有一个想法,那就是马上就到圣诞
节了,英国人不回家过节么?他这是盯着人家回家过年呢,这想法和黄世仁一模一样,您
看,欧洲的老财和亚洲的思维上没多大区别。

说起来我要是英国人,真的可能回家过年了,因为英国为了封锁德国海岸,不但派遣了大
批舰艇昼夜监控各条水道,而且布设了数万颗水雷。英国人的水雷的确战功卓著,第一次
世界大战中德国潜艇被英国水雷炸沉了44艘,据各种兵器击沉数量之首。后来,受到战果
鼓励,美国参战后,英美在设德兰群岛和挪威西南角之间海域所布设的“北海大雷障”,
成为历史上最长的雷阵。有这样一条水雷长城顶着,英国人应该高枕无忧才对。

实际上,英国水雷的战果在北海的并不多,虽然这里的水雷最多,最密。北海的雷阵对德
国人威胁不大,因为它布设的方位和数量,都被德国间谍准确的报告回去了,所以海鹰号
穿越英国人的水雷长城不费吹灰之力 – 这也多亏了它的水兵技术精湛,操纵灵活。那时
候有经验的帆船水手已经和现在能用汇编语言编程的软件工程师一样凤毛麟角,卢克纳尔
哪儿找来这么多好水手呢?原来幸好德国海军为了保持水兵的坚毅精神,对水兵依然保留
有古老的帆船远航训练项目,所以,海鹰号能够从军中找到足够的熟练水兵来操纵它的帆
缆。今天,帆船远航训练依然是一些国家海军的标准训练项目。

12月24日圣诞夜,海鹰号顺利突破英国海上封锁线,抵达冰岛水域,大西洋航线已经在望
,卢克纳尔松了一口气,觉得自己的运气还不坏。

然而,25日,圣诞节的晨光刚刚笼罩海面,海鹰号就发现在自己的前方驶来一艘大型战舰
,那桅杆上赫然飘扬着大不列颠的米字旗!来者,是英国皇家海军辅助巡洋舰复仇号。原
来,英国人也不傻,该过年过年,但是估摸着德国人会乘这机会玩点儿花样,所以,巡逻
上不但没有放松,而且特别加强了对于北海航道的监视。

海鹰号和复仇号狭路相逢。

海鹰号的火力只有两门107毫米炮,硬拼显然不是对手。然而,卢克纳尔并不紧张,他镇
定自若的按照英国人的要求停船,迎接英国的检查员登船检查。

英国的检查人员乘坐小艇登上了“挪威帆船伊尔马号”,德国人紧张,英国人可不紧张,
他们情绪不高,只不过是例行公事罢了,如果认为这样一条古老的纵帆船是德国人的袭击
舰实在滑稽,这种想法大概和中国足球队会夺取世界杯一样荒唐。英国人是理智民族,没
有这种失去理性的想法。

果然,卢克纳尔的这个古为今用的招数,除了他自己,十个有九个会认为是发疯。挪威船
长卢克纳尔热情而自然的回答英国人的各种问题,航海日志有点儿模糊?可不是,都是这
鬼天气搞的,上次我的船长室进水,所有文件都被泡汤啦。想看看船员舱室?没问题,跟
我来。

卢克纳尔的船员都结结巴巴的能讲一口英语,可是带着浓厚的挪威口音,和英国人交流起
来很困难——苦功夫的训练派上了用场。英国人在船舱里看到墙壁上贴着挪威的风景,桌
子上是给奥斯陆大学女朋友写的家信。。。哎,圣诞节还要出海,苦命阿。同病相怜的英
国检查人员和卢克纳尔船长握握手,双方互致旅途愉快的信号后,英国水兵又忙着去找“
真正的”德国袭击舰去了。

看着复仇号远去的舰影,卢克纳尔点上一袋烟。

远望大西洋上的船影,伯爵刀刻一样的面孔上露出了一个狰狞的笑容,洁白的牙齿显露出
食肉动物的本相。

1月9日,英国大型运输船皇家加蒂斯号在阿德雷斯群岛水面看到一条孤零零的老式帆船,
这时,皇家加蒂斯号正照例从英国开往阿根廷,船上装载着5,000吨煤炭。那条帆船发现
皇家加蒂斯号以后,打出了一个信号 – “请告知正确的时间”。

皇家加蒂斯号的波特老船长看到对方的桅杆上飘扬着中立国挪威的旗帜,感到颇为同情,
也就是他这个岁数,还能够记得年轻的时候驾驶帆船是怎样的不容易 – 因为长期出海,
如果时钟出了什么问题,无法搞清时间可是个大麻烦。波特船长不疑有他,渐渐驶近对方


无庸多说,这条“时钟出了问题的挪威帆船”,正是卢克纳尔的“海鹰号”,皇家加蒂斯
号正是他遇到的第一个猎物。

卢克纳尔已经观察了皇家加蒂斯号很久,尽管它没有悬挂国旗,还是判断出了它是一条英
国船。不过,鉴于猎物太大,且看来马力强劲,卢克纳尔爵士可不想和它来一次赛跑,于
是,就拿出了这个请君入瓮的招数。

正当皇家加蒂斯号忙碌的用旗语向对方通报正确时间之时,一个意想不到的场面发生了。


那艘挪威帆船的国旗忽然落下,取而代之的是德国的海军旗!与此同时,帆船侧面的护板
落下,亮出了闪光的炮口。卢克纳尔下令 – 向来船前方炮击警告停船!轰!海鹰号第一
发炮弹出膛了。

奇怪的是,面对炮击,皇家加蒂斯号却摆出一副毫无反应的姿态,既没有尊令停船,也没
有加速逃跑,依然大大咧咧的开了过来。这个反常的架势,倒把卢克纳尔吓了一跳。我是
德意志皇家海军,来船停航!

炮弹出膛以后,卢克纳尔等了好几分钟,但是皇家加蒂斯号毫无动静,船上的水手各忙各
的接着发信号通知海鹰号现在是格林威治时间几点几分,仿佛德国人放得不是大炮而是炮
仗!卢克纳尔下令第二次发炮警告,这次的炮弹直接打在了皇家加蒂斯号的船头前方。英
国人终于有了反应,但不是停船投降,而是船头左右摇摆,象跳小步舞一样走起之字型的
反潜航线来。

莫名其妙的的德国人连发两炮,一发打在皇家加蒂斯号船尾后方,一发超越桅顶。按照国
际公法,拦截敌国商船,四发警告射击之后如果对方还要逃逸,就可以击沉了!还好,英
国人好像突然醒悟过来,乖乖的挂起了白旗,停船投降了。皇家加蒂斯号是海鹰号的第一
个牺牲品。卢克纳尔很有绅士风度的请英国人的所有船员转到海鹰号来,然后派一个小分
队登上比海鹰号大三四倍的皇家加蒂斯号,炸开通海门,把它送进了海底。眼看着这条大
船渐渐翻沉,卢克纳尔才饶有兴味的把还在伤心的波特船长请来了,坐下,倒上咖啡问
– 我开炮你怎么不停船阿?多危险呐。

波特船长苦笑一声,他到现在还以为自己在做梦呢,居然糊里糊涂让一条博物馆里出来的
老古董给俘虏了。

原来,海鹰号的伪装太逼真了,以至于它亮出德国海军水面袭击舰的身份,波特船长根本
就没有注意到,海鹰号第一次开炮,他的理解是对方在放礼炮,还觉得这位挪威船长很古
典;海鹰号第二次开炮,因为炮弹在他前面爆炸,波特船长总算明白过来这不是礼节,但
是他还是没意识到“海鹰号”是敌人,而认为是挪威人发现了德国潜艇,提醒他注意呢,
所以他马上改走之字航线,躲避潜艇。然而海鹰号接着又是两炮,他这才如梦方醒,发现
对方的桅杆上换成了德国海军旗,大炮正对着自己的驾驶室呢!

从皇家加蒂斯号开始,协约国的船只在大西洋上就开始接二连三的落入卢克纳尔手中。10
日,海鹰号的了望哨发现了一条没有国旗和船名的轮船迎面驶来,但是从船体特征看,这
显然是一条英国船。

卢克纳尔变了一个新的花样,他掉转航向,做出要横穿那条船前方航线的姿态。一般来说
,对方船长在这种情况下都会减速让道,因为帆船毕竟比不了汽船那样机动灵活,这是对
弱者的照顾。就像马路上,如果您看见一辆汽车后窗户上贴着“磨合老女白本”,总会让
三分一样,是一种文明礼貌。如果对方减速,卢克纳尔就会顺势派人跳帮夺船。不幸的是
这条船的船长显然没有绅士精神,它大大咧咧的开过来,毫无减速的迹象,幸好德国水兵
技术精湛,否则就要被这莽撞的家伙擦上了。怎么净碰上这样的轴人呢?卢克纳尔未必不
会这样琢磨。
伯爵毕竟是海上老手,他索性操舵一个左转,和来船形成了平行的航向,同时,升旗,放
警告炮,喊话 -- 我是德意志皇家海军,来船停航!

四发炮弹飞过,那条船猛然一顿,立即掉转航向,提升马力没命的逃跑。这还了得,面对
人家的大炮,这么近还敢跑?我的船是追不上你,我的炮还能追不上你么?卢克纳尔下令
开火。

第一弹就击中对方烟囱,第二弹给船身开了个大窟窿,对方——满载法国陆军用砂糖的英
国轮船伦蒂岛号终于停了下来。

一队德国兵气势汹汹,如临大敌的就冲了上去,心想这船长真够横 – 逆会冒烟就以为饿
们卖布的好欺负阿,不把饿们当菜阿!

等冲进伦蒂岛号的船长室,才发现船长哆嗦的跟树叶子似的,哪有半点儿横劲儿啊。德国
人不解了 – 你害怕还不赶紧停船,跑什么阿?船长光哆嗦不说话。。。伦蒂岛号动作莽
撞的逃跑行动使卢克纳尔以为会碰上一个胆大包天的英国船长,谁知道对方不但胆子不大
而且很紧张。他详细的查问之后,才弄明白了事情的原委。倒霉的伦蒂岛号,原来这位船
长实在是一个倒霉蛋,就在几个月前,他的船刚刚碰上了德国伪装袭击舰梅沃号,当然是
人被抓,船被沉,而且还被迫签署了一份声明,表示不再参与英德战事。这当然是权宜之
计。过后,船长换了份工作,又登上了伦蒂岛号,哪知道屁股还没坐热又碰上了卢克纳尔
这个海上幽灵,他想着自己那份声明还在德国人手里,这要是再被抓去还能有好么?之所
以拼命逃跑,他不是胆量大,是吓过头了。卢克纳尔耸耸肩,对这位船长抚慰了一番,让
他和伦蒂岛号的船员转到海鹰号上来 – 他心里明白这种强人所难的声明一文不值,所以
也不深究。伦蒂岛号呢?那就不要客气了,海鹰号的厨房里装满计划给法国兵吃的砂糖以
后,一阵炮击,这条运气不好的轮船就找海龙王开Party去了。

1月21日,海鹰号渡过了赤道,进入南半球。就在这一天,他们又望见了下一个牺牲者,
法国的查勒斯伯爵号。卢克纳尔准备故伎重施,再来一次“现在几点了”的表演。但是不
等他表演,法国人却主动的靠了上来,这运气好的卢克纳尔都不敢相信,当然二话不说,
放炮升旗抓俘虏。原来,法国船的无线电发生了故障,已经有几天不知道新闻了,非常想
从这些“挪威人”那里知道现在仗打到了什么地步。。。 法国人如愿以偿了,他们得到
了最新的作战新闻——“德国海军海鹰号袭击舰在南大西洋击沉法国船查勒斯伯爵号。”

1月24日,击沉运载布匹的加拿大船佩西号。佩西号船长的新婚妻子是挪威人,小两口新
婚燕尔,蜜里调油,所以干脆和丈夫一块儿出海看看风景。和海鹰号相逢的时候,看到丈
夫三次升降挪威国旗致敬而对方毫无反应,不禁火冒三丈,准备乘小艇去向同胞找面子。
结果,却成了海鹰号上第一个被俘的女客。卢克纳尔命令给船长和夫人开一个单间。

2月4日,在狂风中追上了法国船安特南号。有趣的是安特南号也是一条优美的三桅帆船,
它的船长运动员出身,非常浪漫,在船舷画上了两排漂亮的炮窗,俨然古代战舰。航行中
,这位船长惊异的发现一条同样古老的三桅帆船张上了满帆紧追过来 – 哈,和我赛船阿
。法国佬不走脑子就升帆和卢克纳尔玩奥林匹克帆船大赛了。结果一追就是几十浬,两条
帆船你追我赶,要是此时有别的船上来,肯定以为自己发生了时空错位。一赛好几个钟头
,看看跑不过人家,法国船长佩服阿 – 都说我们法国人轴,这有比我还轴的!这船长下
令减速,“当”,给紧追不舍的海鹰号照了张相,准备和人家交个朋友,问问挪威人玩帆
怎么玩的那么好。这时候,他才发现人家的桅杆上,挂着一面德国海军的黑鹰旗。。。

后来有人和卢克纳尔说,伯爵你真是浪漫,人家用帆你也用帆,费厄波赖精神。伯爵一声
苦笑 – 哪儿啊,那是我的轮机出故障了。。。

2月9日,捕获意大利船布宜诺斯艾利斯号。2月26日,捕获加拿大船英约曼号,这位船长
也是带夫人的,受到了佩西号船长夫人的热烈欢迎。

2月27日,捕获法国船拉·罗奇法库德号。3月5日,捕获法国船杜普勒号。

海鹰号手风极顺,但是,也有让卢克纳尔伤心动情的时候。

2月19日,海鹰号追上了陈旧的英国船平摩尔号,轻而易举的将其俘获。但是,当炮手准
备摧毁这条老船的时候,卢克纳尔却拦住了他。平时诙谐幽默的伯爵眼圈红了,他放下小
艇登上平摩尔号,让部下离去,说是要一个人在船上呆一会儿。伯爵的伤情自有他的道理


原来,这艘平摩尔号和伯爵有着令人难以置信的缘分,早年闯世界的时候,伯爵就在这条
船上当过酒吧侍者和下等海员,航行过一年多的时间。如今,已经十几年过去了,想不到
平摩尔号成了自己的俘虏。伯爵后来回忆,在平摩尔号上,自己当年的住舱还是老样子,
他走到船尾,甚至发现自己少年值更时为了打发时光刻在舱板上的化名 – 菲力克斯.洛
克纳还依稀可辨。伯爵在平摩尔号上徘徊良久,最终还是想起了自己的职责,他返回海鹰
号,命令部下执行沉船命令。一声巨响,随着放在舱底的炸药爆炸,平摩尔号缓缓倾斜,
平静的沉入水下。伯爵把自己关在舱里,直到平摩尔号完全消失,不忍走上甲板来看它的
最后命运。

一连串神秘的船只失踪,引发了英国海军的极大注意,尤其是拉.罗奇法库德号和杜普勒
号共计携载了一万吨智利产的优质硝石,是制造弹药的重要原料,它们的失踪严重影响了
兵工厂的正常工作。

英国海军不是吃干饭的,他们把失踪船只的位置连起来,很快就出现了一条清晰的纵贯大
西洋的航迹,据此判断,在大西洋上,显然出现了一条新的德国袭击舰。

海军部向北海上的封锁舰队询问是否有德国军舰突破了封锁?舰队司令的回答非常干脆
-- NO。那么,会不会是有德国军舰避开了你们的封锁,溜进大西洋?

这实在是一个没脑子的问题,连圣诞节都不能回家的舰队司令觉得这个问题伤害了自己的
荣誉,不高兴了,发回一封相当长的回信,内容堪称经典 – “。。。我的封锁线是北海
上的铜墙铁壁,就是一条鱼想从北海游进大西洋,它也跑不了向我报告,说明白从哪儿来
,到哪儿去,为什么要去。。。”

古代迦太基将领曾经自豪的说过:“没有我们的允许,罗马人休想用地中海的水洗手。”
两个回答同样的骄傲,同样的精彩。海军部没敢再问,但是心里未必相信这个豪迈的回答
,过去的一年里,德国人的袭击舰已经有好几艘溜进了大西洋,比如梅沃号,狼号。。。
甚至顺利返航,潜水艇就更别说啦,“北海上的铜墙铁壁”只怕未必那么天衣无缝。但是
,这条暗藏的袭击舰透着古怪。

失踪船只的航迹遍布赤道南北,这样长的续航力,显然不是当时的潜艇能为,那么,是德
国人的水面袭击舰?这几乎是确定的结论,然而,英国人无法解释三个问题——

第一, 这条航线附近英法军舰经常活动,但是从来没有和这条袭击舰相遇过。英国海军
部下令所属舰只对航线附近的所有远洋轮过篦子一样来回筛了几遍,除了闹得人人自危,
收获一堆中立国的抗议以外一无所获。这么大的敌舰又不能飞,难道她会隐身?

第二, 德国海军袭击舰有个致命的问题,那就是它没有固定的燃料补给,这大大限制了
它们的活动能力。包括著名的科尼斯堡号巡洋舰都吃了这个亏。那时候的船只燃料都是笨
重的优质煤炭,这东西可不是哪儿都有,这条新冒出来的水面袭击舰居然没有任何补给的
在漫长的几个月内,几千浬的航线上不断造成船只损失,它的煤从哪儿来的呢?

有人说象埃姆登号也能活动好几个月,靠的是缴获敌船的煤炭么。

但是这次的情况肯定不是这么回事,因为搬运煤炭这种笨重东西需要相当的时间,-- 您
家过冬的蜂窝煤还得拉好几板车呢。皇家加蒂斯号上的几千吨煤,要都搬到德国人的船上
得几天的功夫,但这次失踪的船只往往是很短时间就失去了踪影,显然是德国人一截住它
就很快击沉了,对船上的煤不屑一顾。

难道德国人是靠太阳能航行的么?这也太超前了。

第三,一般德国水面袭击舰常常遇到两种麻烦,要么是拦截了中立国的船只,发现弄错后
放行,此后它的行踪自然暴露;要么在救生艇上漂泊的遇难船员获救,自然也就知道了德
国人的行迹。

然而,这次的事情也很邪门,这一时期,中立国的商船从未遭到过可疑船只的拦截,而且
,失踪船上的人员也象蒸发了一样完全没有了踪影。所以英国人只是推测有这样一条船,
但是敌舰究竟是何方神圣,长什么样,有多大的战斗力,完全没有概念。

英国人觉得奇怪,德国船如果不靠近,怎能区分出对方是不是中立国的船只呢?失踪船只
的船员怎么会一个都没有获救的呢?

越想越想不明白,气得发疯的英国海军部一面通知沿线舰只加强戒备,一面把这条德国袭
击舰命名为“海上幽灵”了。

后来卢克纳尔知道了这个外号,还很满意。事实上,这三个问题都并不难解答。

对于第一个问题,海鹰号当然不会隐身,英国的军舰其实多次和它碰过头,但它那一副老
古董的样子无论如何也不会让人把它和德国袭击舰联系起来。

这就象今天,你如果想袭击布什,一个壮小伙子实枪核弹大概还没接近就让保安给毙了,
要是一个八九十岁的老太太,手提包里装块板砖可能不费劲就把他开了。出其不意,海鹰
号就是那个手提袋里装板砖的老太太。

英国人的脑子比卢克纳尔慢半拍,做梦也想不到现代社会还有用如此过时兵器的古代武士


第二个问题的回答就更简单了,海鹰号不是帆船么?它要煤干什么?它不是超前,而是太
落后阿。

第三个问题比较复杂,一般的德国水面袭击舰,要识别对方是否是中立国船只,需冒险靠
近对方,很容易被看出狐狸尾巴。但海鹰号这样一条老帆船,就在人家眼皮底下成天逛游
,又有谁会注意它?所以它真正是不见兔子不撒鹰,自然不会拦错人了。

至于船员们哪儿去了?那就该想到卢克纳尔爵士的先见之明 -- 在海鹰号上有四百个多余
的铺位呢。

伯爵的船上,很快就多了几百名乘客 – 还有大约一百只猫。

因为所有的失踪船只上无一船员获救,英国海军部开始怀疑德国人是不是伤天害理的把船
上的水手统统干掉了。沉重的阴云压在每一个失踪水手家庭的头上。

然而,就在这同时,红日西沉的时候,一个德国水兵恭敬的走进舱室,对原皇家加蒂斯号
的波特船长敬了个礼,说:船长先生,晚餐已经准备好了。

波特船长点点头,拿上帽子走出房间,看到其他几位被俘的船长也悠然的走出了自己的舱
室,和两位船长夫人一起说笑着走向海鹰号的船长餐厅,在那里,他们照例和卢克纳尔伯
爵一起共进晚餐。

虽然不可思议,但这在海鹰号上是一个每天习以为常的场面。卢克纳尔被称为一个古代的
骑士,并不仅仅因为他的海鹰号应该属于上一个世纪。实际上伯爵极富有古典的绅士气度
。卢克纳尔给了他的俘虏最大限度的自由,如果没有战斗和被发现的危险,大多数人像船
客一样可以在甲板上散步,因为总是能从新猎获船只的厨房里弄来好酒和花样翻新的好吃
的,这些被俘的船员可以喝到法国的葡萄酒,还可以品尝到美国来的培根火腿,很多船员
后来回忆,被俘期间的伙食和床铺比被俘前还好。

被俘虏的船长们组成了一个“船长俱乐部”,他们享有每天和卢克纳尔船长共进晚餐的乐
趣。随着航程的增长,这种晚餐会的成员不断的增加。。。

晚餐有一个非常吸引人的地方,那就是各位船长可以分享彼此在世界各地的有趣经历。不
过,谁也没有卢克纳尔的故事精彩,伯爵讲到他小的时候怎样在英国维多利亚女王的膝上
玩耍,也讲到自己在宴会上怎样给威廉二世变魔术 – 在神出鬼没的把一个苹果变得失踪
以后,伯爵走向皇帝说道:陛下,请您摸一下口袋。。。 还有在智利因为偷了一头猪被
送上法庭,当然也有凄惨的,伯爵在牙买加因为没钱曾经被人扔出旅馆险些饿死,幸好当
地的一些水手帮了他的忙。

尽管伯爵的正规学校教育只到十岁,但是家庭的影响,丰富的生活经验带给了他真正的魅
力和幽默的口才,听伯爵讲自己的传奇经历渐渐成了饭桌上的节目。当时的听众们敬佩之
余也不免怀疑故事的真实性,但是后来证明,伯爵讲的都不是吹牛。

卢克纳尔在日德兰海战中是战列舰主炮的炮长,他在硝烟弥漫的战场上坚定自若。然而,
“海上的幽灵”在战场之外,是一个宽厚的长者。

“我有足够的勇敢去击沉敌船,”伯爵后来写道,“但是我无法承受把一个孩子杀死给他
母亲带来的悲伤。。。我的战争不是为夺去生命。我常常想起自己的母亲,如果我杀害了
另一个儿子,他的母亲会怎样的悲伤阿。”

伯爵并不是伪善,这种骑士精神贯穿他的一生,也正因此这个耿直的老军人无法接受纳粹
的理念,希特勒曾经因为伯爵的倾向冻结了他的账户。

在每次作战中,他都尽全力避免杀伤对方的人员,也避免自己部下的伤亡。在要求对方弃
船的时候,他总是要求确认船上的船员全部安全的转移到了自己的船上,甚至,要求对方
一定要把用来捕鼠的船猫也一同带来。那时的船舶为了对付老鼠总是带着猫的,这些猫甚
至在海鹰号上生小猫,结果,海鹰号上的猫儿很快超过了三位数,当然,海鹰号是不用担
心长老鼠了。。。

唯一的例外是1917年3月11日,海鹰号碰上了英国运输舰霍华茨号,霍华茨号是一个强劲
的对手,它的主炮口径127毫米,比海鹰号的还要大。对比了实力以后,卢克纳尔决定智
取。

再玩“现在几点了”的游戏,未免有些老套,这次伯爵演出的是一出灾难片 – 船上火警
。霍华茨号只见这艘挪威帆船上面浓烟滚滚,水手们纷纷上小艇逃亡,还有一个“船长夫
人”在船上大声呼救(德国水兵扮装的,不过衣服可能是借用俘虏里面两位夫人的正牌货
)。

英雄救美,霍华茨号立即赶上去救援,结果,海鹰号升旗放炮一气呵成,不等它的水兵跑
上炮位霍华茨号就已经当了俘虏。混乱中霍华茨号的电报员准备发报告警,为了保住自己
的秘密,海鹰号炮击了霍华茨号的无线电室。无线电发报员,16岁的道格拉斯.佩奇不幸
负伤,因伤重死亡。

卢克纳尔给佩奇家写了慰问信和其他物品,这封信情真意切,而且详细地描述了给佩奇实
行海葬的过程。

这是海鹰号漫长的征战过程中,唯一一次造成的人命损失 – 给敌人的,和给自己的。

伯爵的烦恼

也许有朋友会问,为什么对别的船海鹰号不去炮轰它的无线电室呢?

兄弟对这个问题在史料中没有找到合适的答案,但确实有人讨论过这个问题,普遍的看法
是海鹰号作战皆为奇袭,当时远洋船只的无线电室都在舰桥,目标明显,海鹰号每次都是
近距离下手,炮口直指对方的舰桥,如果对方敢发电报,马上发炮。

这时候的协约国海员大概缺少亡命之徒 – 亡命之徒都到各国海军服役去了,所以看这个
架势多半乖乖举手投降,跟今天遇上劫机的一样 – 活捉匪徒是次要的,安全降落才是第
一位的。当然这个逻辑如果碰上拉登肯定不对劲,但卢克纳尔那个时代,对拉登还没概念
呢。

我在研究海鹰号的火炮布置后感觉可能还有一个原因。

海鹰号装备两门107毫米炮(这个口径有点儿古怪),一左一右,都藏在前甲板的首楼里
面,有点儿象北洋水师的超勇号和扬威号巡洋舰的主炮,也有点儿象黄花鱼的两只眼睛。
海鹰号这样布置主炮是为了从外观上看不出来它有武装,需要使用的时候,可以象超勇号
一样从首楼的窗口往外打,也可以把首楼两侧的舷板放下,亮出火炮来打。这两门火炮可
以转动,但是射界比较窄,前面说了,它这两门炮布置的象黄花鱼的眼睛,您能想象黄花
鱼两只眼睛都跑到一面来么?那就不是黄花鱼了,变比目鱼了。无论怎样,海鹰号朝一侧
只能有一门炮开火。

所以,正常情况下它一抓到猎物,火炮马上指向对方的舰桥,这样一吓唬,事半功倍。

然而,霍华茨号比较特别,它的上面装有一门127毫米火炮,加上吨位大,马力强,如果
硬碰硬打起来,只怕海鹰号还不是它的对手。好在海鹰号是偷袭,前面说了,那一次海鹰
号是伪装海难的,霍华茨号的船员已经在海上好久了,看到遇难船上还有漂亮的船长夫人
在呼救(德国水兵中的小白脸打扮的),纷纷放下手中的活计上小艇来救美,挤不上去的
也趴在船边看热闹,等明白过味来对方是敌人,已经来不及抵抗了。但是海鹰号的火炮,
这次也不会指向敌人的舰桥,而是指向威胁最大的霍华茨号尾部的127毫米炮炮位,意思
是谁敢上炮位我就不客气。

佩奇这个愣头青看看没人盯着就跑去发报了,估计要是大炮指着,小伙子也未必会去逞能
把小命丢了。。。

击沉霍华茨号不久,伯爵就碰上了麻烦。

这个麻烦并不是英国海军,英国人的外号是“约翰牛”,犟阿,好面子,海鹰号一通折腾
把牛脾气逗上来了,弄得航线上满是英国军舰,还不时向海鹰号发信号 – 你们碰上过德
国的海上袭击舰么?。。。

见多了,伯爵对这些大牛倒也司空见惯,只是英国海军的大牛们几个月一无所获,快气成
疯牛了。

麻烦的是400个铺位渐渐被俘虏占满了,(还有一百多只猫),以后还怎么打仗呢?再抓
了敌船,船员往哪儿放呢?

于是,卢克纳尔就和俘虏的几个船长商量 – 要不,放你们回家?腾出铺位来放新的俘虏

那几个船长脑袋摇得和拨浪鼓一样 – 尊敬的伯爵,这可不行,按照法律,如果释放我们
,只要到达港口,我们就有义务向本国海军汇报贵舰的行踪和情报,贵舰航速太慢,那样
您肯定被英国牛牛抓去啦。

双方都够绅士的。

伯爵毕竟脑子快,他看好目标,一个突袭,活擒了法国船康布伦号。这是一艘帆船,正在
横渡南大西洋途中。卢克纳尔上船看看,发现这条船一没有蒸汽机,二没有发报机,伯爵
很满意。

倒霉的法国船长壮着胆子问伯爵 – 您准备击沉我的船么?

伯爵微笑道:不,我只准备阉了它。

这位法国船长听到卢克纳尔伯爵的话,感受恐怕只有天晓得。一条船怎么能阉?会不会伯
爵大人的法语水平有限,把对象说错了?如果要阉的不是船,难道是。。。这种事,想问
,还不敢问,真是欲说还休。

其实卢克纳尔的法语很好,后来伯爵夫妇到法国旅行的时候在当地人中很少被发现是外国
人,所以船长这种担心纯属多余。

题外话,法国大革命为什么折腾了那样多年?我的感觉是法国人虽然浪漫,却缺少跳跃性
思维,以至于只发明了断头机 -- 热衷革命的法国人是不怕砍头的。其实法国人浪漫得很
,阉了他只怕比杀了他更可怕。攻打巴士底狱以后,如果把维护社会秩序的工作交给魏公
公的东厂来办,只怕拿破仑时代都不会存在。

晚餐会上,卢克纳尔把这位十五个吊桶打水的法国船长介绍给Captain Club的其他成员们
,然后,语重心长的告诉大家——送君千里终有一别,我准备和各位说再见了,希望各位
很快就可以顺利回家。——我准备释放船上的“客人”们,但是有一个条件。

听到这个宣布,船长们都很高兴,不过大家都是绅士,于是其中一位就对伯爵说话了——
很感谢伯爵的深情厚意,但是,您的条件如果和我们的义务和法律相抵触,我们将无法接
受。

伯爵说没问题,我的条件就是——你们将乘康布伦号离开,开往最近的巴西海岸,请你们
在到港之前,不要主动向协约国方面通知我舰的行踪。

船长们发现伯爵这个条件很有意思——当时的国际公法对于遭到敌人袭击俘虏之船员有如
下的要求——返回本方或中立国控制港口,或者获救的同时,有尽快报告袭击者情况的义
务。然而,这个要求有个漏洞正好被伯爵利用——在大洋中放大家乘康布伦号走,到岸之
前尚未进入港口,当然没有报告的义务,同时康布伦号是一艘排水量1,830吨,航行稳定
安全,满不错的船,由船员们自己驾驶,路上也没有需要救援的地方,“获救”无从说起


每一位船长都宣誓不在路上主动“和陌生人说话”,同时保证获释后康布伦号将直驶里约
热内卢。事实上,他们的确遵守了自己的诺言。

得到这样的承诺以后,伯爵还有两件事情要做。

第一, 他要求Captain Club选出一位船长指挥康布伦号,这是因为他要释放的船长有十
几位,哪国的都有,这要是放到一条船上大家都指挥起来,肯定和桃谷六仙给令狐冲治病
一样各有各的高招,不打起来才怪呢,所以先要明确指挥权。船长们认为伯爵说的有理,
他们选出资格最老的平摩尔号船长穆兰为总指挥。

第二, 他下令搬运足够数量的食物和饮水上康布伦号 – 船长们对此有些疑惑,因为康
布伦号开往最近的里约热内卢,按照他们的估算,两天足够了,德国人搬上船的东西显然
有些过多。

直到第二天,伯爵送263名获释男女乘客登上康布伦号的时候,船长们才恍然大悟——这
康布伦号怎么看怎么别扭——昨天夜里,卢克纳尔的部下把这条帆船三根桅杆的第二节以
上部分全都砍掉了。

这样的结果就是康布伦号虽然依然可以航行,但是靠仅剩下的帆会慢得像头牛,到里约热
内卢恐怕要十几天。 -- 原来船是这个阉法阿!

法国船长可以安心了。

双方依依惜别以后,毕竟有十几位船长盯着,被阉了的康布伦号还是顺利到达了巴西,而
且,一上岸就按照惯例立即通知英国海军关于海鹰号的情况。

如梦方醒的英国海军不能不佩服卢克纳尔的狡猾和周到。

佩服归佩服,英国皇家海军的战舰立即扑向了南大西洋,这次,该轮到所有的帆船船长倒
霉了,英国人不分青红皂白,对每艘没有烟囱的船严加盘查。

英军搜索海鹰号的阵容包括 – 装甲巡洋舰兰开斯特号,奥贝塔号,辅助巡洋舰奥兰多号
,斯特本孙号,亚马孙号等,在南大西洋上撒开了一张严密的罗网。

然而,这一切都是白忙活,气势汹汹的英国舰队折腾的晕头转向却一无所获,海鹰号又失
踪了。

海祭

就在英国皇家海军调兵遣将的时候,冯.卢克纳尔伯爵却在祭奠他的一位老朋友。

被“阉掉”的康布伦号毕竟手术后动作不够灵活,晃荡了半个月才到达里约,海鹰号已经
利用这段争取到的时间,全速南下,经过福克兰群岛直奔南美洲最南端的合恩角。

福克兰群岛,又名马尔维纳斯群岛,主要由东西两大岛组成,是一片泥炭和山峦满布的荒
僻土地,因为气候寒冷,交通不便而人烟稀少。但是,在二十世纪里,围绕着这片荒凉的
海岛,先后爆发了两次激烈的海战。

第一次世界大战时的德国东方舰队,主力是两艘装甲巡洋舰沙恩霍斯特号和格奈森诺号19
14年12月,刚刚在科罗内尔海战中击沉了英国装甲巡洋舰好望角号和蒙默斯号的德国东方
舰队,在这里自投罗网。它们试图突袭福克兰群岛首府斯坦利港,却正撞入来截击的英国
海军舰队阵中,一场恶战,拥有两艘战列巡洋舰无敌号和不屈号的英国舰队无论吨位火力
还是速度都占有绝对优势,干净利落的为好望角号上的克拉多克将军报了仇。德军除轻巡
洋舰德累斯顿号冒死突围外全军覆没。由于福克兰群岛海域气候严寒,风浪猛烈,德国海
军名将,舰队司令斯佩中将以下的两千余德军官兵落水后绝大多数未能获救,葬身鱼腹,
一度辉煌的德国东方舰队灰飞烟灭。

1982年,另一场战斗再次映红了南大西洋冰冷的海水,这一次,是一直和英国争夺该群岛
主权的阿根廷,在得知英国最后一艘大型航空母舰皇家方舟号退役的消息以后,和老牌的
英帝国摊牌了。阿根廷突击队一夜之间攻占马尔维纳斯。消息传来,大不列颠震怒了,争
论不休的议会多少年来第一次发出了一个共同的声音——战争!“铁女人”撒切尔夫人调
动大英帝国几乎所有的战舰,远征万里,收复福克兰。她赌赢了,英国人指着斯坦利港的
米字旗宣布:狮子虽然老迈,依然能够咆哮。。。

但是,狮子毕竟老了,六十年前,大英帝国的舰队只要伸出一个指头,就可以压垮一个海
军强国,而英国和阿根廷的战争中,可怜的英国海军航空兵甚至无力覆盖自己舰队顶上的
天空。

假如长眠大海的斯佩伯爵看到安德鲁王子开着直升机冲向阿根廷人的导弹,来引诱它偏离
目标,不知道老将军的心情又是如何。十年河东,十年河西阿,英国,德国,这些大陆的
老牌帝国都衰落了,星条旗的光芒正在大洋上闪耀。

斯佩伯爵正是卢克纳尔的良师益友,当海鹰号经过这片曾经被双方炮火染红的海面时,卢
克纳尔下令减速,举行了一个庄重的悼念仪式,来纪念在海战中阵亡的德国海军官兵。海
军中将冯.格拉夫.斯佩伯爵,德国东方舰队司令官,福克兰海战中,他犯了一个致命的错
误——当他突袭斯坦利港的时候,英国舰队尚未生火,假如他果断杀入港中,英国人的重
型战舰将如同死鸭子一样任其屠宰。然而,这位沙场老将一发现对方有两艘远胜于己的战
列巡洋舰,便惊惶失措,率队撤逃,终于在无遮无掩的大洋上被速度更快的英国军舰追及
,而遭到灭顶之灾。实际上,德舰发现英舰是在7‘30,而无敌号能够驶出港口,还要到9
‘45呢!这一战,斯佩伯爵在格奈森诺号上的长子,在莱比锡号上的次子同时战死。而英
国舰队指挥官斯特迪将军则以他的勇气和镇定获得了好评。当部下报告德舰已经逼近的消
息,他立即下令各舰加煤生火——然而,那时的烧煤锅炉要一个多小时才能真正有足够蒸
汽开动军舰,这期间英舰无异靶标——千钧一发之际,看看自己已经没有其他事可做,将
军下达了第二条命令:各舰按时开早饭。。。

祭奠仪式的高潮,是海鹰号的船员把一个巨大的十字架沉入大海,这个十字架,是用海鹰
号猎获的敌船材料制造的。

仪式之后,卢克纳尔长出一口气,下令海鹰号继续南进,绕过合恩角,前面,就是世界第
一大洋——太平洋,这里的人们,大多对此时在欧洲发生的激战还仿佛另一个星球一样遥
远。

让英国人在大西洋继续折腾吧。伯爵的目光,投向了太平洋辽阔的海面。

海鹰号成了度假船

4月18日,进入太平洋以后的冯.卢克纳尔转而率舰向北航行,开往太平洋中部的贸易航线

让我们从海鹰号上暂时移开目光,升上云端看一下当时世界的全景吧。

1917年的欧洲正打得如火如荼,西线,德军退守兴登堡防线,英法联军发动狂攻,伤亡惨
重却毫无进展——值的一提的是为了避免法国单独与德国议和,每当西线稍有平静,英国
人总是主动挑起疯狂的混战,因为英国人原来有个外号叫作“约翰牛”,于是,这一段在
西线大家就给异常好斗的英国人起了个更响亮的绰号——“疯牛”。不过当时的英国兵想
不到这独特的词汇将在八十年后大放光彩。

1917年,欧洲激战正酣

东线,俄国袭击德奥西南战线,斗到酣处,双方把重炮装在装甲列车上,如同古代骑士一
样对开狂轰。。。最终俄军失利,伤亡三十三万人。

中东,沙特阿拉伯(汉志)对德宣战。

东方,中国等国卷入战争,北洋军阀政府下令对德参战。德国海军奥特尔号炮舰,1917年
在长江上被中国海军俘虏,后被中国海军改为利捷号炮舰使用,曾在三江口海战中和苏联
红旗远东舰队交过手。

世界在流血和呻吟。

然而,海鹰号的水兵们在这个时候却过着悠闲的日子,吃吃热带水果,钓钓鱼,弟兄们的
体重普遍增加了。此时的太平洋依然是一片和平景象,英国人的舰队还在南大西洋如没头
苍蝇般的到处搜捕一条“三根桅杆的格拉斯哥造纵帆船”,没人打搅水兵们平静的生活。

但是,这里也绝少英法商船的踪影,-- 英法船只这时都在大西洋上奔忙,往欧洲跑运输
呢。卢克纳尔觉得有些落寂。了望哨伸长了脖子,好容易在天边发现一片挂着英国旗的帆
影,铆足了劲儿追上去,对方却毫无惧色迎上前来,细看之下原来是当地土人的一条大独
木舟,挂面英国旗纯属喜欢它花花绿绿的颜色,还需要发炮,升旗么?人家举着椰子来换
烟抽呢。

作完交易卢克纳尔颇为懊丧,一个多月里面有两次看到汽船的影子,又发现是属于美国的
定期班轮,只好放过——不能打中立的美国船,这一点海军高层曾经反复强调,因为假如
美国参战,德国人将更加被动,而在中立国的船只前面,伯爵也不愿意抛头露面,毕竟海
鹰号是出来捕猎的狐狸,万一把尾巴露出来不是玩的。

喜欢凑热闹的却不请自来,6月14日,航行在圣诞岛附近的海鹰号发现一条挂着星条旗的
船大大咧咧迎面开来,船上发出的信号是:

“有什么新闻么?”

卢克纳尔不想多事,不改变航向的回答:“没有。”

那条船却改变航向,亲热的凑了过来,没办法德国人只好装模作样的表示友好了。来的是
美国船约翰逊号,上面的老美站在船舷上大声喊着问:“嘿,老哥,有啥小道消息没有?
自从参战以来我们还没有看过报纸呐!”参战?美国参战啦?!

卢克纳尔吃了一惊,不动声色的应付着美国佬,一边旁敲侧击着,几下子就弄明白了真情
——美国已经在4月借口抗议无限制潜水艇战对德宣战。

真是一个不幸的消息,如此,德国打赢战争的可能更加微乎其微了。

然而,对卢克纳尔来说,这消息也有好的一面,那就是——约翰逊号马上成了德国海军在
太平洋抓到的第一个美国战利品。

把无限抓狂,眼睛瞪的跟铜铃似的美国水手们送进俘虏的住舱,卢克纳尔马上开始追杀新
的目标。第二天,截获美国商船斯拉德号。7月8日,再次捕获美国商船马尼拉号。

有了新的战果,伯爵顿时振奋起来。这个地方英国人鞭长莫及,简直是袭击舰的理想战场
,卢克纳尔准备大干一场。

航行到社会群岛附近,水兵报告伯爵舰上的淡水储备需要补充了,伯爵看看海图,决定选
择风平浪静又没有敌人驻防的莫皮拉环礁靠岸补给。

太平洋上的珊瑚环礁,是美丽的观光圣地

8月1日,海鹰号驶进莫皮拉环礁的礁湖入口,深浅不一的礁盘把海水变幻出碧绿,浅蓝,
鹅黄等种种奇妙的颜色,小鱼在船边嬉戏,一连串的小岛环绕礁湖,如同翡翠和珍珠,在
和平时期,这里大概会是亿万富翁理想的度假胜地。海鹰号的水手们心旷神怡,伯爵一面
老练的操纵海鹰号,轻灵的避开水下的礁石,一面愉快的对俘虏们宣布 – 莫皮拉据说是
一个无人岛,但是盛产椰子和海龟,明天,我们将一起在岛上来一次BBQ,享受美好时光
。水手和俘虏们一同欢呼起来。

但是伯爵并不知道,也许就是这阵欢呼,惊醒了一个睡在海底的恶魔,它在两千米深的海
底,已经等待海鹰号好久了。

这个恶魔,远比伯爵小心躲避的英国皇家海军可怕得多。

伯爵的战争结束了

8月2日清晨,卢克纳尔指挥着海鹰号,巧妙的避开礁石,抛锚在莫皮拉环礁的礁湖中,实
枪荷弹的德国水兵在大副克宁上尉的率领下登上莫皮拉岛 –上尉发现岛上除了几个土著
的卡纳克人在抓海龟以外,一无人迹。满意的卢克纳尔开始让船上的摩托艇运送人员上岸

准备BBQ。。。

就在这个时候,一个意料不到的突变发生了。

上午9点30分,太平洋平静的海面忽然发出一阵疯狂的喧嚣,剧烈的震荡起来,一道二
十英尺高的巨浪腾空而起,直奔毫无戒备的海鹰号。正在驾驶摩托艇运送物资的德国水兵
只觉得一道水墙直追上来,不等反应,已经连人带艇被甩上了珊瑚礁的岸边。

卢克纳尔的机智可以对付强大的英国海军,但是在大自然的伟力面前,却变得毫无用处―
―他碰上了一次剧烈的海底地震!

2004年12月27日,所有电视台,电台都在紧急播放着一则恐怖的新闻 ――印度
洋苏门答腊海区发生一次海底地震,由此引发的剧烈海啸在瞬间席卷孟加拉,斯里兰卡,
印度,马来西亚,印度尼西亚,肯尼亚,马尔代夫等国,仅在印尼一国,就造成二十二万
人的死亡。。。

卢克纳尔碰上的,就是这个魔鬼。

当2004年年底印度洋大海啸发生的时候,我的一位信奉通灵的朋友说,这是因为上帝
在年底结算的时候,这一年“收人”的指标没有达到,所以。。。如果这样说,那么,卢
克纳尔遇到的这次海啸,无疑也该归于天意了。因为海鹰号太传奇,太出色了,当它走到
好运的尽头,上帝实在舍不得把它送到任何一艘英国人的战舰炮口下面,所以 ――所以
他只好自己来摧毁它了。

这样说来,用海啸中止海鹰号的故事,还是上帝对海鹰号的溺爱吧。

写到这里,忽然想起几年前看到过一则新闻,某人在家中坐,却被一颗陨石击中,不幸毙
命。
这位,大概也属于上帝爱他太过了吧。

好在卢克纳尔遇到的这次水下地震比苏门答腊地震还是要小一些,所以,只是把海鹰号高
高抬起,然后重重的抛上了礁盘,但是,幸运的没有造成人员伤亡。

倒霉的德国人惊魂稍定,连忙检查损失,发现海鹰号已经高高的搁上了礁盘,等到伯爵下
到底舱,他马上就认识到自己的船已经不可救药——海鹰号的龙骨已经在这一击之下断成
了两截。

船的龙骨折断,就如同人的脊梁骨断掉了,属于致命伤。

据说,战后卢克纳尔伯爵回到柏林汇报海鹰号的损失时,当局无论如何也不能相信他的解
释,一条纵横万里的袭击舰,居然会被地震给摧毁了,天下哪里有这样巧的事?!这不是
跟奥运会射击冠军打错靶一样天方夜谭的事情吗?

为此,伯爵受到了不少非难。

但是,1976年,一位研究欧洲战史的法国人达尔蒙特博士通过研究资料证实,191
7年8月2日早晨,社会群岛附近,的确发生了一次水下地震,它造成的海啸到达500
公里以外的斐济时,依然造成了两米多高的大浪。

看来,卢克纳尔并没有说谎,海鹰号的确是被上帝中了彩。

没办法,海上幽灵只好暂时当救灾队员了,好在这场灾难中人员无一伤亡,摩托艇虽然损
坏,还有两条十米长的小艇可以使用。

在将大部分食物,弹药等物资移上岸后,卢克纳尔下令焚毁了座礁的海鹰号。

于是,所有的人员――德国水兵和战俘,都转移到了莫比尔环礁,这里虽然无人,但是物
产丰富,饿,是饿不死的。

卢克纳尔审视情况,下达了命令——自己率领一队人马,乘坐小艇划往500公里以外的
斐济,希望在那里截一条船回来搭救其他的弟兄们,大副克宁上尉负责岛上剩余的人员。


伯爵一行于8月20日离开,他们历经风雨,坚韧的划过了茫茫大海,在经过一些岛屿的
时候,德国人声称自己是正和人打赌划桨横渡太平洋的丹麦海员,从而获得了热烈的帮助
,遗憾的是当他们接近目的地时,却被斐济警察局一位大胆的希尔警官看出了破绽,率领
海上警察包围小艇,迫使伯爵做出了投降的决定――有趣的是当伯爵缴枪投降以后,双方
都大吃一惊,因为希尔警官把他们当作了德国潜艇上的遇难艇员,没想到他们有这样好的
装备,而卢克纳尔感到万分沮丧的是他发现希尔警官手里居然除了警棍手铐并无其他武器


伯爵的战争结束了。

值得一提的是留在岛上的克宁上尉一行,这位克宁上尉也是个富有想象力的家伙,伯爵走
后,这位大副日夜举火求救,引来一条法国船鹿特斯号,结果鹿特斯号的船员稀里糊涂的
成了克宁上尉的俘虏。上尉把人员转移到鹿特斯号上,继续他的旅程,不幸,因为没有伯
爵掌舵,这条船在美洲海岸触了礁。这一次他不再有活捉鹿特斯号的好运,全体人员成了
俘虏。。。

战后的冯.卢克纳尔,成了一名周游世界的旅行家。当希特勒掌权,德国走向第二次世界
大战的时候,这位老船长却悄然远离了军队,伯爵高尚的人格使他无法接受纳粹的理念。
因为营救被纳粹迫害的人士,希特勒冻结了伯爵的账户。但这不能让精力充沛的伯爵“安
分守己”,当盟军的轰炸机开始轰炸德国本土的时候,他却利用在盟军中的老朋友——他
当年的俘虏有的已经身居高位——使盟军承诺不轰炸他的故乡哈勒尔!这种“里通外国”
的行为被纳粹觉察以后,伯爵只好选择了流亡。

当二战结束以后,伯爵返回他的故乡,这时,他发现盟军也以那种早已被人忘却的骑士精
神恪守了对伯爵的诺言——他看到的是一座完整无损的哈勒尔城。哈勒尔的居民在街道两
旁排成队伍,欢迎他们的英雄和恩人回家。

1966年,耄耋之年的冯.卢克纳尔在故乡哈勒尔悠然辞世,这位对“海上幽灵”的外号自
鸣得意的老船长,在暮年最为欣慰的就是自己在战功赫赫的征途中,最大限度的减少了双
方人命的伤亡——冯.卢克纳尔率领海鹰号在8个月的征战中击沉了十四条敌船,俘虏了46
2名敌人,却只有1人在他的作战中死亡,而他的部下,无一伤亡,在战争日益残酷的世界
,这样的战绩既空前,恐怕也将绝后。

斯人已逝,留下的,只有一段老船长的传奇,和后人记忆里最后一艘神出鬼没的古老风帆
战舰 – 卢克纳尔伯爵的海鹰号。